I said that I’d share our homeschooling schedule with you, but with so many people doing different things simultaneously, there are several schedules.  It might be hard for you to mentally put them all together, but I’m going to list the schedules for my oldest three kids over the next few days, as well as the schedule for everyone else. 

This year, my 12 and 13 year old daughters asked me if they could plan their own curriculum.  Of course I said, yes – that’s the ideal, when your kids are motivated in their learning and have their own ideas about what they want to learn and how they want to learn it.  I showed her whatever curriculum type materials I have around and told her to feel free to use anything that struck her fancy, or not use any of it, as she liked. 

 Here is my 9th grade daughter’s schedule (we officially homeschool Mon – Thurs, Fri is preparations for Shabbos/Sabbath, and Sunday is for whatever they want to do):

• 7 am – wake up
• 7:30 – 8:30  – morning prayers
• 8:30 – 9 am – breakfast
• 9 – 9:30 – chores
• 9:30 – 10 – chumash/Bible
• 10 – 10:20 – Hebrew language and Hebrew writing, on alternate days
• 10:20 – 11:20 – math (Video Text Algebra – super excellent program but very, very expensive)
• 11:20 – 11:45 – piano practice (she put this in between her most intensive work on purpose, to give herself a mental break)
• 11:45 – 12:30 – writing – once a week using Writing Strands, twice a week using Critical Thinking Press materials, once a week spelling
• 12:30 – 1:30 – reading (this includes history, science, and literature)
• 1:30 – 2 pm – lunch

 She also wanted to know if she could design a curriculum for our 6 yr old in the afternoons, so I agreed to that, too.  He’ll feel special to spend that time with her.

• 2 – 2:20 – History/Hebrew on alternating days with 6 yo brother
• 2:20 – 3 pm – science with 6 yo (this is a big block of time for when she plans a project with him)
• 6:30 – dinner

As far as science and history with the 6 year old, this is a new thing and we’ll see how it plays out.  She’s spoken to him about that things interest him, and taken out books from the library for him on those topics a few days ago.  She told me today she needs to find more activities and projects for him so it will be something that is fun and interesting for him.

At the end of last week, a local mom hired her to come in from 2 – 5:30 pm on alternate days (that’s the max I was willing to allow her out) to help her out in her home.  It looks as if it will be a long term position, so now it’s likely that she’ll just work with the 6 yo on the afternoons that she’s home.  She’s also still thinking about her schedule and there will be tweaking for all of us to our schedules that we start out with.  She said she and the 12 year old have been talking about learning halacha/Jewish law and Navi/Prophets together on a daily basis (until now that’s been informal, which is my preference), but hasn’t yet decided about that. 

Some of you might think this schedule looks very rigid, and others might be thinking that she’s not spending enough time learning.   🙂  If it’s the latter, it’s probably because you’re comparing it to school (and you’re making the false assumption that time spent in school equals time spent learning), and if it’s the former, you’re probably unschoolers with young kids.  :)) We have a lot of flow through our days, and I’ve found the schedules helping everyone to stay relaxed and get what they feel is important accomplished.   It makes a big difference when something is externally imposed, and when someone chooses it for themselves.  When our kids are doing their academic work, they’re pretty focused, and you can see how a motivated high schooler can easily finish everything by lunch time and have the rest of the day to spend as they want. 

Avivah

I felt it was relevant to share my thoughts in my last post on creating a vision of what you want for your life because of yet another person who called me about homeschooling a couple of days ago.  Well, to be more accurate, he didn’t want to know about homeschooling, but about an alternative to dump his child into since school wasn’t working (ie, wanted to know about paid group opportunities and a homeschooling family who his son could be left with).  This is a question I hear much too often, far less than questions from sincere parents interested in truly homeschooling, and I always stress to parents that homeschooling is first and foremost about a relationship with your child, and taking personal responsibility for their educational needs.   

I asked this parent (in this case the father, usually it’s the mother), what he wanted for his family, the kind of life he wanted them to have, the relationships he wanted to build, and what success would look like.  He didn’t know.  I asked him why his 12 yo son didn’t want to continue going to school.  He didn’t know.  I asked why his wife didn’t want to homeschool his son.  He didn’t know. 

After spending 40 minutes speaking to him, I told him that there were a lot of important questions he didn’t have the answers to, and that I couldn’t help him until he sat down with his wife and discussed what kind of plan they want to have for their family.  I told him that homeschooling isn’t about where to teach the same subjects as school, but is a totally different paradigm of life that begins with the parents having the same goals and values.  He asked if he could schedule a time for his wife to speak to me, and I told him that my conversations with people who aren’t willing to do what’s best for their children (whatever that may be, I don’t define that) are very short, and that it would be a waste of time for all of us unless she created a vision. 

So….if you haven’t thought about why you’re homeschooling, or what kind of results you want to see, you’re shortchanging yourself.  You’ll still probably end up far ahead of the curve in terms of family development, but if you know what you want, you can focus your energy on that goal.  Your chances of success of any kind are much higher if you begin with a plan in mind. 

For me, that wasn’t the specifics of academic accomplishment, though for some that would be included.  I want my children to develop certain competencies that I feel are crucial for success in life – it includes reading, writing, and mathematic competency.  But more than that, is about the kind of family I want to have.  I want my kids to grow up with strong and healthy emotional selves, with confidence in their abilities, to know how to speak to and relate to all kinds of people.  I want them to feel a connection to G-d and to have a meaningful religious life.  I want them to be able to have healthy relationships with their friends, spouses, and children.  And there are other things.

These are some of my basic goals, and I sometimes tweak or change my approach if I feel that will help me reach the goal better.  The focus is on the goal, however, not on what to teach when.

By the way, if you aren’t homeschooling, creating a vision for your family is still critical.  Part of your vision will include using the schools to help you further your goals, and you can determine when schools are working for you by how much closer they bring you to your goals.

Avivah 

Since Friday, I’ve been having an experience that reminds me what it’s like to be a potential homeschooler.  How hard it is to do things differently from others around you, to trust the process when others don’t trust you, and to fear that you’re making a mistake that your child will pay for.

Early Friday morning (as in 1 or 2 am, when I suddenly woke up), I had a flash of inspiration regarding my oldest son’s school situation for next year.  Though he’s done well this past year – very well – there are a number of things that don’t fit our goals or philosophies.  And I’ve told you how much time and energy has been required of me to support him in the compromise situation the school and I have come to.  It’s very hard to spend so much time, money, and effort on something you really don’t feel is ideal.  Or even close to ideal.  I’ve been telling my husband for months that I simply can’t do another year like this one, and for two months have been intensely telling him that.   I’ve had a strong feeling of dread regarding the coming school year for my high school son, so I keep trying to not think about how soon school is starting.  As if by not thinking about it, I won’t have to deal with it. 

Back to my 1 am mental light bulb.  Fortunately, when I woke up, my husband did, too.  That was very convenient, since we were able to have a productive conversation and discuss in depth all the issues involved in the long term that concern me.  He finally was able to really hear how strongly I felt about the school situation, understand my reasons, and agreed that the second school would be a much better fit for many reasons.

The problem is that school begins in a few days (Thursday).  I don’t like leaving things to the last minute and rushing around like a maniac.  Particularly when this could easily have been dealt with months ago, and when this week I already am going to be busy preparing for my daughter’s bas mitzva celebration on Sunday. 

And the even bigger problem is, we’re talking about a 15 year old.  Not a five year old, who you can independently make decisions for based on what you think is best, and just tell them to do it.  Teenagers have their own ideas and deserve significant input into a major decision like this.  And my son isn’t buying into my vision of this second school being an excellent choice for him.  Not at all.  That’s despite spending a lot of time talking, listening, discussing, making lists of pros and cons of each school (with his current school having a very short list of pros, long list of negatives, and the other school having the exact opposite – long list of pros, short list of negatives).

All of this is leaving me in an unfamiliar head space.  Which is, wondering if what I feel so strongly about is really the best thing for my son, and if it’s a good idea to push or let go on this one.  I strongly believe in trusting my gut reaction, and the new school feels right to me.  The old one really, really doesn’t.  But he really, really wants to stay where he is.  Despite all the negatives, he wants to be there.  He hates the idea of switching.  

There are intangibles that I’m trying to take into account, and I can’t tell if I’m losing perspective and building up the importance of some things and minimizing the importance of others.  Do you know how hard it is to speak to someone about something like this, and for them to listen and reflect back based on what you’re saying?  Not based on what they would do, but considering who we are and all of our reasons?  I was fortunate to speak to a good friend this morning who validated my thinking, which was particularly nice since the other three people I spoke to all told me to ask a community leader for his opinion on what I should do and think it’s a bad idea (‘if he’s happy, why move him?” Umm, because he’s not getting a good education, and his long term happiness might be more important than letting him stay in his comfort zone…..). 

So right now, I’m not pushing or trying to convince him.  That’s not my approach anyway, but I think he was feeling besieged because we spoke about it at the table with everyone there, and everyone of his siblings old enough to speak (except the 2 year old) thinks he should switch, and keep telling him that.  I’ve told him that this is a decision we’re going to make together and I won’t force him into it.  I’ve also told him why I don’t see the current school as a good option, and put the burden of responsibility on him to tell me how he could make it work there.   A big part of me thinks that if he had more time to get used to the idea, if it wasn’t suddenly thrown at him, then he might be more open to considering it.  But there’s not much time.

So tomorrow I’ll be contacting the school, finding out about setting up an interview for him, and letting the idea sit with him, as well as giving him time to think of new options to present me with.  I’m very open to his ideas.  We have to make a decision very soon, so I’ll keep all of you posted!

Avivah

I’ve shared with you that I try to support my kids initiative when it comes to making money, and that I don’t give allowances, right? And a few days ago I mentioned that my nine year old son was baking cookies with his friend, right?  Well, I’ll share more on that with you now because I think it’s a good example of how kids learn money management and the value of hard work, without me giving them the money to spend.

He had been asking me what he could do to earn money, and I told him he’d have to think about it.  He got to thinking, and the phone calls were flying back and forth between him and his friend.  They finally came up with the idea to bake and sell chocolate chip cookies.  Initially, they planned to sell cookies individually, and they did sell several, but the presentation wasn’t good and they got some feedback from customers that they integrated the next time they sold them.

The second time was Thursday – they bagged some individually, but made platters with ten cookies each and sold them as ‘family packs’ for a slightly discounted price.  They wrapped it with clear colored cellophane (I got several rolls for free from someone and was happy to let them have it) and it looked really nice.  They were so excited to come home with everything sold out!  They split the money evenly between them, and that was also exciting, when they saw that they each made a nice sum of money.

Then my son was so excited he wanted to bake every day.  I firmly told him that twice a week was all I could handle, and told him I would make the kitchen available for them both to bake together on Sundays and Thursdays.  Yesterday his friend was unavailable, so he spent the entire day baking, wrapping them, and cleaning up.  By the time he was finished with all of it, it was too late to go to sell them.  But they were well wrapped and stayed fresh, so the two of them got together late this afternoon and again went door to door selling them.

And they sold out again!  Something nice they mentioned when they got home was when they returned to the homes where people bought cookies from them on Thursday, the people told them how good they were and were happy to buy again.  After counting his money, my ds asked me to help him put his money into his savings account (we bank with USAA, located in Texas, so he can’t go in person).  The simplest thing was for him to give me his cash, I made a direct transfer from my account into his, and voila! – a minute later the money was in his account.

He told me tonight he has another idea for a business.  I told him that I didn’t feel ready to hear it, because just this one business is about all I can handle him being busy with right now!  Maybe after a few weeks if they get into a groove with the cookies, then it won’t feel so all consuming when they’re doing it, but for now, I’m very conscious of the time and kitchen space being used (meaning, my kitchen was a mess all day long yesterday, and still in use this morning). 

I’ve seen it again and again, when you give kids some freedom to make their ideas happen, they can come up with better ideas and are more emotionally invested in the process than they would be if I gave them suggestions.

Avivah

Today two of my kids began piano lessons.  I think music lessons are very valuable, but they’re so expensive.  Especially when you have more than one child in lessons, it adds up fast.

A couple of years ago I started my oldest two kids in piano lessons, and simultaneously began my then 7 year old with tin whistle lessons.  Even though I found very good people who were charging low rates, it was adding up fast. I think that our schedules had a long interruption for Pesach (Passover), and somehow, we never got back on track.  Not because I didn’t think it was worth the money, but because money was tight and it was easier to push it off.  So until now, music lessons have remained in the ‘nice but not crucial’ zone.

A month ago, I bumped into a neighbor I rarely see (as she puts it, she’s chained to her desk at work) who told me that they just bought a new baby grand piano.  It was a major purchase, one they were thrilled about as she and her husband are both passionate about classical music.  She then asked if any of my kids took music lessons, and if they’d be interested.  I often get asked if my kids take lessons of some sort, almost always followed by the person then asking if I’d be interested in signing them up for xyz. 

So I told her what I told you, that they’d started, but it got pricey, and as much as I would have liked to continue, it didn’t work out.  Then she said, “The reason I’m asking is I was wondering if you have any children who would be interested in piano lessons.  Now that we have this new piano, I really want to share it with others.  I’m not a trained piano teacher, but I’ve played for years and love music, and would love to teach them for free if they’d be interested.” 

Well.  Wasn’t that incredibly generous?  I told her that I’m sure more than one child would be interested, and we agreed to be in touch to set up something definite.  But when I called her she wasn’t in, and we played some phone tag.  Two of the three children who were interested went to camp, life was busy, a month passed – and we still hadn’t connected.  Then we bumped into each other at one of the weddings on Tuesday night.  (I always find it ironic when I see neighbors at public events who live just a few doors away from me that we see more of each other there than we do at home.)
 

The nine and almost 12 year olds each had a lesson first thing this morning, one after another, and enjoyed it very much.  The keyboard that has been on a shelf for over a year came back out today and has been used all day long.  The 13 year old is scheduled to go over on Tuesday night. 

There are a couple of other great things about this arrangement, besides the price and the very pleasant woman who made the offer.  🙂  One is that she’s so close that my kids can easily walk – it will take them about two minutes, if they aren’t going too fast.  🙂  I’ve found that having kids in extracurricular activities outside the home can eat up a lot of a mother’s time, driving back and forth to get everyone where they need to go, and I’m very grateful that they can enjoy this opportunity without me needing to add more driving to my weekly schedule.

The other is, she said that since she works all day, no one is home, and if the kids want to practice on her piano when she’s gone, they’re welcome to.  We did buy an electric keyboard when the oldest two started lessons, but practicing on a real piano would definitely be better.

Another thing I especially like is that she’s not a trained teacher.  I think that the best person to teach something is someone who really loves what they do, and she truly loves classical music and the piano.  Being around someone who has a healthy passion for something is so valuable for kids to see.

Avivah

>>I wanted to know if you had any advice for me in regard to a first grade language arts program for my son.  …..Do you have any suggestions for a first grade language arts curriculum that would include reading, writing, spelling, and grammar and punctuation (Calvert includes all this as well as introducing cursive in first grade)?  Your opinion would be greatly appreciated. <<

I have to tell you the truth, as far as structured school in the box type programs, I don’t use them because I don’t think highly of them.  I think it’s the most limited and unstimulating way for kids to learn.  Schools have to rely on things like this to teach many kids at the same time, but it’s a matter of efficiency more than effectiveness.  So I try to take advantage of the freedom homeschooling allows me in finding something that will be more engaging and tailored to each child.

What I do with kids this age is: read to them lots, bake with them and play board games (many games are great for math skills), listen to them read, and use a basic handwriting workbook (I like D’nealian because the transition to cursive is very natural, instead of learning two forms of writing).  Once they know the basic letter forms, they do copywork.  And the rest of the day is spent being part of a busy household – meaning free play and chores. This has worked well for us to help the kids learn all the skills they need in a relaxed and fun way. 

I believe that good grammar and spelling come with lots of reading, and I encourage a lot of reading for my kids.  If I were using a program, I would choose something that was integrated with literature, like Learning Language Arts through Literature.  But I’m more free form in my approach and I at the most adapt materials that I see, not use them precisely as they’re written.  I have yet to find something that so exactly fits my personality, priorities of what to teach when, and my children’s needs that I want to follow it exactly.

I don’t teach reading – I wait for readiness and then help them with sounds of letters, so my first six kids have all picked it up mostly on their own.  There’s a book called Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, by Siegfried Engelmann, that I’ve heard recommended by many.  If I were going to use something systematic, it would probably be this.  I did try Phonics Pathways quite a while back but didn’t love it.  I have 100 Easy Lessons out from with library now, thinking to show it to my newly turned six year old to see if he was interested, but I haven’t yet gotten around to it.  I have this feeling I probably won’t get around to it, because my style to teaching reading just isn’t so systematic – it seems like a waste of energy to consciously teach something when it is so naturally picked up when they’re ready.

I’m not oversimplifying what I do – this is really all.  Homeschooling a child this young is simple – the hard part is trusting that it’s enough and letting go of our preconceived notions of what learning looks like.

Avivah

“What do you do when the husband and wife disagree on the importance of homeschooling, or how the homeschooling should be done?” 

I’m a strong proponent of clear and honest communication between spouses when it comes to homeschooling (and everything else, actually!). I think that in the vast majority of cases, one parent feels more passionately than the other about it, but it really helps when both are on the same page.  Trying to homeschool without at least the passive support of the less enthusiastic spouse is a recipe for disaster.  So I don’t support a family homeschooling if one parent is antagonistic.  Homeschooling isn’t just about an academic option to school; it’s about an entirely different way of life that is family centered.  And the family needs to positively centered on the same things!

I recently read something in which the writer stated that in their family, they had areas that each spouse was responsible for, and when there was a conflict in that area after open and honest discussion, the spouse whose jurisdiction it wasn’t deferred to the one whose it was (eg, the husband made the choices regarding the family business and the wife made the decisions regarding the raising of the kids). This comes to mind because the parent who is responsible for the homeschooling should be the one who is trusted with the final say about it, in my opinion.

This might seem obvious, but I speak to mothers who are trying to balance what they want to do and how their husbands want them to do it, and there’s an impossible conflict.  A homeschooling parent isn’t a hired worker to the other parent, implementing the bosses ideas regardless of their feelings or thoughts on the matter.  And you can’t have two bosses. Of course you should create a vision for your children together, but it’s not fair for one spouse to expect the other to do it the way they want it done and not give them the trust and latitude necessary to find their own style. So I think that once the decision is made to homeschool, the parents need to agree to defer in the case of disagreement to the one who is doing the homeschooling.

Avivah