A question I frequently hear is: “How do you have time for yourself?”

First of all, I have to say that I truly enjoy spending time with my kids – they’re great company! Enjoying your kids is critical, but you need to learn how to carve out time for yourself and your needs, so that you don’t get burnt out. You must recognize your own needs as valid and find ways to meet them.

Homeschooling doesn’t mean being on active duty all day long. There are lulls and quiet periods. There is early morning or later in the evening time, and if you have a husband who can make himself available, then he can be home while you get out.

How you meet your needs depends on what you enjoy. I didn’t have money for a babysitter when my kids were all little, I didn’t have a husband who had a schedule that made it possible to watch the kids, I didn’t have any friends or family members who could give me a break, but I still found ways to have time for myself. It can be something as simple as some quiet time to read a book, take a relaxing bath, call a friend, or have a cup of tea. The key is to take the time and take it regularly.

Here’s something I did when I had six kids ages 9 and under, and had all the limitations I just shared with you. I found that a short break in the middle of the day kept me going and I didn’t get worn down. I instituted a daily rest time for every child. I would put the infant and toddler in for a nap, then everyone else had to stay in their beds for an hour. They didn’t have to fall asleep, but they had to stay there quietly. They could read, quietly play a game or do a puzzle (they chose it before rest time), but there was no talking or getting out of bed allowed until rest time was over. This gave me regular daily time to know I would have for myself without having lots of little people around. I don’t remember how long I kept that up – but it was a huge help, and something I would do even now if I felt I needed it.

Be very careful that you don’t end up using your free time to clean up. I do stay up in the evenings when the kids are asleep and do some straightening up, but not for long.  I would resent spending my precious quiet time cleaning up the messes of the day. No matter how much you love your kids and spending time with them, you need to have some space for yourself or you’ll end up claustophobic and wanting to put them in school so you get a break.

Don’t give that quiet time up for something that can be done in the daytime when the kids are awake, with them. It’s that space that makes us able to give all day long, and enjoy it. Lose the space, and you lose the enjoyment.

Avivah