have a bunch of homeschooling and parenting thoughts to share, I need to get our homeschooling schedules up for you to all see, and a question waiting in the wings about homeschooling with a newborn.  I’ll get to it, it just won’t all be today!

For now, I want to share my personal position on video watching for young children.  I’ve mentioned to you that we didn’t watch videos (that included religious videos, home videos, or computer dvds) at all until three years ago, for any of our kids.  Then I was chose to accept the gift of a dvd player and began using it to supplement our homeschooling for science and social studies, andn I’ve continued to be very careful to limit it.  I have seen this become a very slippery slope for most families, and I wanted to consistently use it as the tool we intended it to be.  Since we do have the dvd player now, you might be wondering what my position is for my baby and toddler. 

My baby and toddler are sometimes awake part of the time when we watch our monthly family video, so they do sometimes sit with (on!) us then, but otherwise they have no screen time.  (Unless you count my toddler standing next to me when I’m on the computer and asking about the little graphics that appear on the side of the screen sometimes. :))  If the kids occasionally watch an educational program, it’s usually something the older four kids watch or when the little ones are napping or otherwise occupied. 

 I don’t agree with using a computer or dvd player as a regular babysitter, no matter how clean the material is (and by using it as a babysitter, I mean for significant amounts of time daily, ie, more than an hour).  And if we were going to be very honest about it, that’s what it’s used for most of the time.  However wonderful the content is, it’s not good for developing brains of children to sit passively and be entertained for so long.  The medium is the problem (I think Jane Healy wrote about this, don’t remember the name of the book since I read it years ago). 

They need activity, they need to think and create, and be.  Sitting and passively watching isn’t the same and sitting and doing nothing.  It’s worse than doing nothing, as far as their brains are concerned.  Don’t fool yourself by telling yourself about all the wonderful things he’s learning as he sits there. 

So what about if a mom uses it selectively and wisely?  Then that’s great!  I wouldn’t say to never ever let your child watch a dvd.  I’m don’t judge anyone for how often they use a computer/dvd program for their kids, and I don’t judge what the right balance is for each family.  The challenge that I see is that once we moms use a crutch to make our lives easier, it’s all too easy to use it more, and more, and more, until it’s often being abused.  And before we know it, our littlest kids are vegging out daily while we use the quiet time to do what we want. 

I passionately believe that it’s critical for every mom to have time to herself, to recharge and rejuvenate herself, on a daily basis.  At the same time, I think it’s important to look at what we do with all the time we gain when our kids are watching the video.  Are we doing something that can’t be done with our little ones around, that will give us more time and head space to be with them later?  Are we using the time wisely, so that we feel refreshed and energized?  Please be honest with yourself about how you’re using it.   Is it possible that when we sometimes pop a dvd in, that it makes us feel less guilty for being inattentive to our young children for significant amounts of time?  

If you feel fine with how often you’re using it, great.  If you’re feeling uncomfortable about how much you’re using it, then pay attention to that niggling feeling.  Your gut might be trying to tell you something.  (And be careful that you’re not a dedicated mom using this post or any other to beat herself up for not being ‘enough’, feeling guilty in an area where there’s no place or benefit from guilt.)

Avivah