I had a very late night (it was 3 am when I got to bed – should I call that an early morning instead?) last night, so I committed to myself to get into bed early tonight.  But before I do, I want to share a thought that’s been on my mind for the last few days which I’ve found helpful.

I have a tendency to feel inadequate if I don’t constantly meet my expectations of myself, regardless of how legitimate a reason there may be for not doing something, or how unrealistic the expectation may have been.  Even with awareness of this negative tendency, since I have yet to maintain a smile on my face and a perfectly sunny disposition every moment throughout every day, I continue to periodically fall into the trap of negative thinking. 

Last week, I read something somewhere that made me think of us moms, who do so much every day but so often feel like we aren’t good enough, or haven’t done enough (unless I’m unique and all of you never feel like that?) – about the importance of having ‘grace’ with ourselves when we’re feeling under the weather for any reason.  The word ‘grace’ really resonated with me, since to behave graciously to others is a mark of fine character and doesn’t imply that there’s a flaw that needs to be forgiven; it’s about understanding and pure acceptance of who and where we are right now with no judgement at all.  Isn’t it amazing how we don’t think to extend ourselves the same graciousness that we routinely show to those we interact with on a regular basis?

 I mentioned in my last post that I’ve been feeling really out of kilter for a few weeks (since Rosh Hashana), and I keep reminding myself of this idea.  I’m finding it helps me to recenter myself, which is helpful until I physically get recentered by being back to my normal sleeping/living schedule!  I hope some of you find this thought helpful to as well.

Avivah