A couple of weeks ago I shared about our decision to have our 15 and 16 year graduate early.  In the last couple of weeks I’ve been pretty busy putting pieces in place for that to happen; one of the details we’ve been thinking about is whether they will participate in an official graduation ceremony.  Our homeschool umbrella program organizes a graduation every year, and it sounds like it will be a memorable and enjoyable event.  We have to register to participate by March 1, so this is a fairly immediate decision to make.  It will take place in June in historic Gettysburg, with Civil War era music being played by period reenactors, an address by ‘Abraham Lincoln’, in addition to another well-known speaker.  Definitely sounds more interesting and memorable than my high school graduation!

I broached the idea to my kids, and their response was, “Who needs a graduation?”  It’s interesting that the kind of things that people in school think homeschoolers are missing out on are very often just not that important to homeschoolers.  When you’re part of a system that constantly tells you that you need something, you begin to accept that as something that is your due, and feel deprived without it.  My kids haven’t heard how important graduations are, and they don’t feel it’s especially necessary.

But we decided that they’ll participate for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, I do think it’s nice to mark this transition point for them and acknowledge all that they’ve done to reach this point.  My ds16 said he hasn’t done anything, so why make a big deal of it (this is typical for him since he tends to downplay his accomplishments).  I asked him if kids in school have done something that should be noted, and he responded, yes, because they take tests. 🙄  So while I’m not a fan of testing as proof of accomplishment, I told him if he wants tests to prove some kind of accomplishment to himself, he’ll get some tests.  The things we do to make our children happy.  😆   (I’m planning to use CLEP exams for this testing which can be used towards college credits; the kids will select the exams that match the general education requirements of the degree programs they each want to enter.)

Secondly, we have family members (read: grandparents) who value accomplishments most when they match ‘the system’.  Though I don’t determine what we do academically to impress anyone or try to validate myself, in this case I think it’s important to the relationship for the kids to have what they’ve done seen as valid by their grandparents.  The math, writing, or whatever skill building/information absorbing they’ve done is of much less significance there isn’t something official that says someone says they did it.

I don’t like it, but I understand it, and I want my children to be treated with the same appreciation they have for others who have official graduations  After hearing about the graduation plans, the grandparents are excited and now telling me how smart and well-educated our kids are.  That’s not to say they didn’t feel that before, but now they’re expressing it!  And it’s especially a pleasant thing to hear since for years concerns were expressed that the kids wouldn’t learn what they need (“you’re training them to become manual laborers”) to succeed in life.

Thirdly, I think it will be fun and a nice memory for everyone!

Along with the decision to participate in the graduation comes the less significant but more interesting decisions (for the kids) as to what color gown to order for the graduation and deciding about the tassels.  (Did you know how many tassel choices there are??  You can get one color, two colors, to match the gown, contrast with the gown, then there are different charms with different finishes….)  Then I’ll order a matching leatherette diploma holder for each of them for when they receive their diplomas at the ceremony.  If I make my purchases by April 1 there’s a discount, so naturally you know I’ll be ordering before then!

(This post is part of the Carnival of Homeschooling.)

Avivah