Tonight I went to the goodbye party for a friend moving to Israel in a couple of weeks.  We met at an aliyah meeting several months ago, and spent lots of time talking after the meeting, during which I strongly encouraged her to make the move to Israel rather than continue to postpone it (she had been thinking about it for two or three years, I think).  After our talk, she went home and got her aliyah file opened that night and has been steadily making preparations for her move.  (Dh says I have a way of saying things and sounding convincing, but I think I happened to just reinforce and validate what was already in her heart.)  And here I was just three months later at her goodbye party!

It was a lovely party which I very much enjoyed, and had the opportunity to see some people I wouldn’t have otherwise had a chance to say goodbye to.  I shared with the first person how emotionally trying this period is, with a lack of certainty on so many levels, the last minute flight changes, and then the calls today in which we were told it could take another week or more for the paperwork to be finished, which had dh and I debating if going on Weds. was a good plan or if we needed to stay here in limbo for another week or more.  Really an emotional roller coaster – ambivalence is something people are uncomfortable with and look to resolve, and I’m no exception to that!  

She said something that resonated with me, about how in life’s difficult situations, it’s like giving birth – things get steadily more intense, and then when you feel you’re at the end of your resources, suddenly the baby is there.  I needed to be reminded that there’s going to be some benefit to doing all of this, because right now it’s frightening and it’s very, very easy to lose sight of the big picture and instead be caught up in the myriad of small details.  I so much want the security of knowing that this is taken care of and that we definitely can move into our home when we get off the plane, before we leave this country!  I don’t have any other definites to hold onto, and was okay with all of that because I thought at least a place to live was in place.  So I appreciated the reassuring perspective.  I have to continually tune into my belief that G-d will always take care of us, as long as I turn to Him and remember He’s the one orchestrating all of this, and this is the thought that I’ve been holding tightly to – it’s when I let go of it that I start to feel anxious.

The second person is someone I like so much but we had lost touch when we tried to reach each other by phone and both tried to call the other back but somehow weren’t able to reach each other.  I had specifically mentioned her to my kids, and was sorry I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to her, and it was so wonderful to be able to see her tonight!  Though she doesn’t have any current plans to visit Israel, I somehow know I’m going to see her there one day.

It was so nice to see that so many people came to show their love and appreciation for the friend who was leaving.  She is a very special person and she really deserved a nice send off like this. I felt a momentary pang of disappointment that there wasn’t an official goodbye party for me – I’m so appreciative for all that people have done to wish us well and don’t in any way minimize it – I really, really appreciate it!   It’s just different when there’s an evening dedicated to you, rather than you being a side part of the main agenda, which is what my experiences until now have all been. 

I had a beautiful goodbye party when I left Israel eleven years ago with about forty women in attendance that I still have warm feelings about, and though I didn’t expect any party here, my mind started moving towards this being a reflection of not have been really valued.  At times like these you have to remind yourself that feelings aren’t facts, and not take yourself too seriously when it’s the night time! When you wake up there’s always a more accurate perspective.  Even without going to sleep, just recognizing that I needed to shift emotionally to a better place and focus on the many positives in my life helped the feeling pass pretty quickly.  As I’ve shared before, people have been wonderful to us!

Since I didn’t have a vehicle to get to the party, I asked the honoree of the evening to give me a ride there and back, and we sat in the car talking for over an hour after she got to my house.  It was so nice for us both, and I’m glad that she’s moving to Israel and I can honestly say to her, rather than ‘goodbye’, ‘see you soon!’

Avivah