Today I went to the Ministry of the Interior to get a new identity card.  I can’t even guess what happened to my old one, which hardly ever is taken out of my wallet, but one day I went to a lawyer to sign on as a power of attorney for someone, reached in for it, and it wasn’t there!

I went twice before to the Ministry of the Interior to take care of this, but both times the gate was locked.  I called the local municipality, and the woman who answered told me the office moved.  I asked for the address, but she said she doesn’t have it – ‘next to a bank and opposite the phone company’ were the instructions.  I made it there, and was pleased that the  line was short and the person helping me was quick and efficient.

While I was there, I also needed to get some documentation for the girls’ high school about their entrance and exit dates from the country.  That was harder to take care of – the only dates that came up were for our visit last year, but the Ministry of Education needs proof that they are the children of returning citizens and have been living overseas for a number of years.  You’d think since I already have documentation from other offices, it would be enough, but no, every office needs its specific documentation in the way it wants it.

He managed to pull up the details for dd17, but for dd15 said I have to come back with her passport.  I explained to him that a child’s passport is only good for five years, and the old passport has to be given in when you get a new one.  So I can’t show the passport from when she was four years old that shows that she left Israel.  Don’t you think this information should be stored in some governmental office computer somewhere?  I’m sure it is, since we have the approval of their status and all of this had to be verified months ago.  But not on the computers at this office.

From there, I went to the girls’ high school to give them the documentation I managed to get. The principal saw me there and called me into her office for a chat.  She said another teacher has been trying to reach me, and then called that teacher in to join our powwow, and we all had a nice hour long conversation.  They were both very effusive about how special my girls are.  The principal said she was hesitant when accepting them because they had been homeschooled all of their lives, thinking they wouldn’t be able to transition well to a school framework.  But, she said, she was taken by not just that they adjusted well, but by their good character and the mature way they both think about things that is very different from what she’s used to seeing in high school girls.  (Her words, not mine.)  She said she sees that there was something special about their education based on the results she sees.  That was really affirming to hear!

We spent a long time discussing if when dd17 leaves school, dd15 should be jumped up to the eleventh grade.  There’s so much involved technically and it’s really hard for me to make a call on this since skipping her for the coming year means that she won’t be able to take her national matriculation exams and get the accompanying certificate.  I’m inclined to skip her since socially it will be drastically better for her, and I think school is mostly about friends and a social life.  But I don’t want her to be in a bad position after high school when certain paths will be closed off to her without this bagrut (matriculation) certificate (though she can make this up on her own, kind of like the SAT).  Her teacher maintains that it will be close to impossible for her to succeed in passing all the bagrut tests which are challenging even for native Israelis, so it’s a shame not to skip her to a class she could really enjoy being part of.  We finished our discussion by agreeing to talk about it later on, but I came away with a nice feeling of working together with the administration, with a feeling of mutual respect on all sides. (The principal even said that they’d love it if I would teach for them!)

From there I picked up the littles from gan, then walked to the school where dd11 and ds9 are.  I wanted to make an appointment to speak with the principal of the boys’ school about some concerns I have regarding ds9 before I take conclusive action of my own, as well as to get the numbers of his tutor and teacher so I can call them tonight about these same concerns.  When I walked in, I encountered a woman about my age who happens to be the daughter of the chief rabbi of the city who somehow has a very nice impression of me, who  enthusiastically kissed me and told me, “There’s no one like you!”  (I’m  mentioning this for a reason, not to include self-inflating details.)

(Edited to delete entire sequence of events – in my  blog, I try not to give details that would badly reflect on someone else or make me the bearer of idle gossip.  After rereading, I’m afraid that someone local might be able to make an educated guess about who was being referenced, and cause them to think less positively of this person.)  

Remember I said how one woman earlier was glowing about my wonderfulness, and then this person was totally disgusted with me?  That I was told these things within a half hour was a good reminder to me not to give more weight to people’s opinions of me than they warrant!  I’m not so wonderful and I’m not so terrible; like most of humanity, I’m somewhere in the middle.  I have a tendency to want people to like me, and I have to remind myself that I can’t allow other people to define who I am, but to try to act as G-d wants me to (even though I usually fall short).

I really try to get along with everyone and it’s very unpleasant to know that someone is so angry at me.  But I also believe that every single situation that is sent to me, is sent to me for my growth.  Right now my practical focus is on a few things: appreciating the person for who he is and remembering that he wants to be helpful, not taking his comments personally or allow myself to see him in a negative light, and taking steps to  protect my/my child’s boundaries and respect my own needs.

I’m really grateful that this was balanced by an overall productive and positive day; it makes it easier to have perspective!  It seems that life provides constant chances to be stretched beyond our comfort zones….

Avivah