There has been so much going on with dd17 (as of yesterday :)) and her seminary saga.  Let me catch you up and then tell you where things are finally at as of today!

Months ago, dd applied to Gateshead seminary in England.  She was interviewed in April and accepted.  However, she decided after the interview that she’d rather go to a local Israeli seminary.  We don’t know much about the options here, and after meeting with dd’s high school guidance counselor, decided to follow up on the two seminaries that she suggested.

Of the two suggestions, one is a larger seminary with 90 students in the first year program, the other is much smaller with just 30 students.  Dd interviewed at the larger seminary first, and the principal was very taken with her.  Then dd had an interview scheduled at the smaller seminary and was waiting to see what it was like before making any decisions.

After interviewing at the smaller seminary, she felt it was too small for her and wasn’t going to have enough enrollment for the training program of her choice to open, architectural design.  (Israeli women’s seminaries have religious studies in the morning and career training in the afternoons.)  She decided to go to the larger seminary since they would definitely have the necessary enrollment; at her interview she hadn’t had a good feeling and originally wasn’t interested but when she popped in for a visit on a different day she got a much better impression.  Weeks went by and dd got a letter about three weeks ago notifying her that she was scheduled three days later for career aptitude testing.  The track she had chosen was the most vigorous of all their offerings, and students are only accepted into this program after showing the necessary skill and aptitude via the testing.

Dd took the test in Hebrew – we asked to get it in English but they needed more advance notice to order it – and did well anyway.  Quite well.  We were notified a week later that she got the highest score of all the girls who took the test.  However, despite the high interest in architectural design, most of the girls who took the test didn’t pass, and of those who passed, most didn’t do well.  Dd was among very few who scored high.  As a result of the testing, her track won’t be opening this year.

This was a big disappointment to her, and that meant that two weeks ago, less than four weeks to the start of the new school year, she was faced with a choice.  Should she stay with this seminary, which she had a really good feeling about, and do a career track that didn’t excite her?  She really didn’t like that idea. So we started searching for another seminary.  We heard about one that would definitely have architectural design, but since it was vacation no one was answering at the office.  In the meantime, dd spoke to a friend who told her information about this seminary that made us decide it wasn’t where she wanted to be, and also mentioned another seminary that would definitely have the program she was interested in.

I was fortunate to reach the secretary the day that I called – she said due to summer vacation she was only there for a few hours and wouldn’t be in the office again for another week.  I explained the circumstances of our late inquiry to her, and asked how we could speed up the application process.  She said she’d fax the application to us, and if we could fax it back before she left for the day, she’d begin processing it that day.  (That means they check out the girl to see if they’re interested, before scheduling an interview with her.  If they aren’t interested, they don’t give you an interview.)  At at this point I was told they won’t be offering architectural design this year, and instead will have industrial design.

I told dd about this and she said it’s obvious that God is trying to tell her something, since it’s not normal that none of the programs that all opened last year aren’t opening this year.  With no time to research what was involved, dd decided she’d change to the industrial design track.  Dd rushed to get everything in and we got a call a short time later saying she was approved for an interview, but the principal was on vacation in the north.  I asked, “Would it be possible for dd to interview with her while she was still in northern Israel?”  Maybe – I should call back Weds. evening.  I did that (that was the night dh came home – I called her from the train on the way home from the airport!) and the principal said they had just returned to Jerusalem that evening after several days in the north.  I told her I was disappointed since we live in the north and it would be much easier for dd if she didn’t have to travel to Jerusalem (which I had explained the secretary but apparently that part of the message wasn’t passed along).  The principal told me she would be in Haifa for two days the following week, and we scheduled dd’s interview for this morning.

Dd had a really nice interview with the principal.  She said the most interesting thing she was asked was what kind of person she wanted to marry.  Dd told her someone with good character who has strong Torah values.  The principal asked, “Do you want to marry someone in kollel?”  Dd told her, “I can’t say because I don’t know who the right person will be.”  “But,” persisted the principal, “would you want him to be in kollel?”  Dd said, “If he was in kollel, I’d want him to be serious about it.  I wouldn’t want to marry someone who’s in kollel just to be able to say they’re in kollel.”  The principal asked (you can tell she was trying to figure dd out since she’s a very refined and spiritual young lady, and her her responses weren’t matching what is expected of girls like her), “Do you know anyone learning in kollel?” Dd answered, “Yes, I know lots of people in kollel.”   (Dd didn’t say that her father learned in kollel for ten years.)  “Well, do you respect them?”  “Yes, but it’s very hard and it’s not for everyone. ”  The principal asked her if she understood that the approach she would be hearing there was pro kollel as the ideal, and dd said she understood.  Later dd told me she realized her answer to this might make the difference to her being accepted or not, but she needs to be honest about who she is rather than give the answer she knows is expected.

The principal concluded the interview by telling her that they never notify candidates of their acceptance until at least a couple of days after the interview so they can gather more information about the applicant, but in this case she was going to make an exception and told dd on the spot that she was accepted!  That was really nice since there’s already been so much uncertainty and it’s helpful to have some closure.

It was good that dd had already taken the career aptitude testing, since the results could be transferred to her new school immediately – this was important for them to have and smoothed the late application process along.  The principal told her about the industrial design program and dd is really excited about it, even more than the architectural design.

I try to live my life with the understanding that everything is guided by God, which is easy to believe when things go the way you want but much harder when nothing seems to be going your way.  This is a paradigm that I’ve seen dd has really worked to internalize that has come up again and again during this process.  It makes dealing with uncertainties and difficulties much more manageable.  Dd kept telling me obviously there was a reason nothing was working out, and now she can see that she’s ending up in a place that is better for her in all ways than the other options, and she’s really excited about it.

In two and a half weeks her program begins.  There’s no dormitory so we have to find a place in Jerusalem for her to stay.  This is a big concern but she said she’s trusting that somehow we’re going to find a place.  There are shared apartments for rent which would be ideal since it’s easy walking distance to the seminary but that’s a big financial stretch for us at a time when we’ve had a tremendous expenses at the same time our income was cut by half.  She’s reluctant to do a live in nanny kind of position, since the program she’ll be in is very intense, and she won’t have much available time to work.   We’ve heard that there are often older women who are happy to have someone stay in their home for the company, but I don’t know anyone in that situation or even know who to ask about it.  Most Israeli girls stay with friends or relatives if they don’t live in the area.  So often I have this feeling of being behind the eight ball here, having no connections that Israelis take for granted to smooth the way in so many areas.

Time isn’t on our side but God is, so this will be one more step in this process in which we do our part, and we’ll see where things come from- so often it’s from a different direction than what we anticipate!   (If any of you have suggestions, please share them with me!)

Avivah