Last week I got a call from a writer for the Hebrew Mishpacha magazine. She was planning a feature article and wanted to interview me. I asked about the topic and it was unclear to me just what the specific angle was – it was related to making aliyah but obviously more specific than that.
I told her I wasn’t so sure I had something of value to share on this particular view, but she said someone had told her to contact me because I have a ‘powerful story’. As I told my kids, whatever. I agreed to speak to her for 20 minutes a few days later when I had time and yesterday morning we spoke.
We ended up speaking for 40 minutes. I told her in the beginning that if she quoted me to please be sure everything was grammatically correct since I’m used to interviews in English, not Hebrew! She later told me my Hebrew is fantastic which it isn’t but except for pausing to think of how to translate some non-literal English phrases into Hebrew it went fine.
She asked me to share about our aliyah experience, and I told her it would be most helpful to me if she would ask specific questions, but she said she didn’t know anything about me so she didn’t know what to ask. I shared about our experience and told her that we’re all happy to be here and glad we came despite the challenges. She told me how much she enjoyed speaking to me but wasn’t sure what she would use for this article, saying she might prefer to use it for something else in the future.
At this point she mentioned it was going to be a Pesach feature – if she had said this earlier on when I asked about the goal of the article I would have understood much sooner what she was looking for. She wanted to speak to those who had celebrated Pesach outside of Israel and then to share what it was like to celebrate in Israel.
No, I definitely wasn’t the right person for this! Did my experience of loving having 2 seders in the US, followed by our first seder here in our secular neighborhood fit the inspiration she wanted to share? Our seder in which our neighbor buzzed our doorbell for a long few seconds, screamed at us for making too much noise singing, then called the police to complain? The Muslim police who then came into our house, saw us sitting around our table singing and admonished us for making to much noise, warning us that if the neighbor called again and they had to come out we’d be fined several hundred shekels? (And my teenage girls being creeped out by the younger policeman staring at them the entire time?) Probably not.
Obviously she wouldn’t want to write about last year how I was so grateful that daylight savings time didn’t begin until after Pesach (usually it’s before), so that we could start and finish our seder an hour earlier than usual, nonetheless worrying the entire time about the police coming. How I repeatedly told everyone to keep their voices down, after shutting every possible window so minimal sound could get out. It’s our family tradition that we continue singing songs from the Hagada together for about an hour after the seder ends, something that each child looks forward to being old enough to participate in. This has been less enjoyable for us all since moving here but hopefully when we move to a different community it will be very different!
She wanted stories of people whose holidays were enhanced by being in Israel. One day I’m sure this will be the case but I haven’t yet had a holiday here that was spiritually more elevating than it was in Baltimore. I love being in Israel but this aspect of my life isn’t something I can point to as an improvement on my previous life.
After this interview a couple visiting Israel stopped by Karmiel for a short visit with me. The husband found my blog when doing aliyah research and asked if he and his wife could meet with me while they were in Israel. We talked about the challenges for Americans finding their place socially and religiously here – this is the issue that every single person who has recently moved here or is considering moving here has spoken to me about. We all have the same basic concerns about where we fit and what kind of community to look for. I’ve written about that before and it’s a significant concern for people thinking of making aliyah as well as for those living here trying to navigate the religiously polarized landscape.
Right after they left, my mother’s husband came by for some help in translating Hebrew documents. He and my mother went to the US for a visit and he just returned – she’s coming back later this week. They’ll be with us for both meals on Shabbos so we’ll hear more then, but they have both said that while it was nice to be in the US they’re so happy to be living here!
Avivah
I am really sorry that your experience with the seders was quite horrible. I am living here 32 years and have never heard of such a thing. we always sing late in2 the nite as do many of our neighbors. I hope in your new community you will continue your family singing with joy.
Rachelli, living in a secular city is a very different experience than living in a religious area! I’m very careful about noise but thought on the seder night it would be understood that we would be awake later than usual. Another neighbor told me there’s no such thing a seder that goes later than 11 pm and it’s not acceptable to have it go on longer.
Also, our mayor prides himself on the lack of crime and to him the police taking complaints from a neighbor of a crying baby seriously and threatening parents with fines is a sign that the city is in good shape. (A good percentage of those I know with young children have had the police called on them for noise complaints, not during official quiet hours, either.) Guests from other areas have been shocked by this but it’s our reality.
Wow, I had no idea that secular people had so much power in your neighborhood! That is really awful, and something that you should have been warned about. It’s a sad state of affairs when a Jew can’t even be a Jew in Israel.
We need Moshiach NOW!!!
It’s not that secular people have power. It’s that people can complain about minor things – whoever they are – and be taken seriously.
Avivah, I feel sorry about some of your experiences. Again, I wish we had spoken more while you were still living here.
We we haven’t gone through the same hardships that you have, and that obviously makes a difference. At the same time, we still have a very different perspective on the things you mention. We have lived in this neighborhood for nearly 17 years now, on the same small street as you. We do not consider the neighborhood, or the street, to be “secular”. We have had wonderful experiences on Pesach. We have had wonderful friendships, which include joining together for Shabbat, chagim, and Torah, with other families in this neighborhood and nearby (but unfortunately less with yourselves or with others in the particular community you chose to join).
We have even called the police when neighbors have held high-volume parties late into the evening, and we’re glad that in Karmiel there is enforcement for this type of thing. I’m sorry that your apparently insensitive close neighbors have seem to have no sense of proportion on this… 🙂
May the Ribbono Shel Olam bless you and your family where you are going and in what you plan to do.
I’m glad your experiences have been so positive. I’ve had many positive experiences as well which I’ve shared over the last 2.5 years.
It’s always interesting when two people looking at the same thing come to such different conclusions. To my knowledge there are only about six religious families on the street (let’s say there are a few I don’t know of and there are really ten) out of approximately sixty families; since three of them live in your building that’s a nice concentration there!