I didn’t know when I got a call a month ago regarding a newborn baby girl with Trisomy 21 whose parents didn’t want her that getting involved was going to break my heart again…and again…and again.
I didn’t know that it would bring me under attack and accusation, that I would be treated like a criminal and even threatened with jail.
I didn’t know how very, very hard I would have to work to let go of my anger and blame towards those involved, how hard it would be to balance staying involved and respecting my own emotional boundaries, how I could invest so much of myself into helping and then be forced to walk away and still trust that G-d is protecting this baby.
But I’ve done it. And I’ve grown a lot through this process.
This has been a dramatic and gut wrenching situation to be part of and every day there are changes in this situation that make it an emotional roller coaster. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in the Twilight Zone.
- Yesterday a senior staff member from the institution where Baby M is called and cried when she told me how sorry she is how badly I’ve been treated. (This was after receiving a very sanitized update from the management.)
- Yesterday I got a call from a social worker that social services was aware of my involvement and was seeking more information about me.
- Yesterday an emergency meeting was held by social services to determine what to do for Baby M.
- Yesterday approval for me to visit Baby M was withdrawn by the parents.
And that is where the situation stands now. Though I’m now unable to physically be there for Baby M (Malka bas Esther), I will continue to pray that the final outcome be for the highest and best good for all involved.