So much to do!

Really busy but not stressed – well, mostly not!

We have just under a month before Tehila’s wedding and then twelve days later Michal will be getting married!

A number of their friends have commented that I must be stressed out planning for two weddings so close together. No, I’m not. :)

Having said that, I’ve been conscious about creating space inside myself to keep centered. That means recognizing what is necessary and what isn’t. So even though I technically have time to write here, there’s been a longer lag than usual since I’ve been choosing to leave myself some time that isn’t filled with activity in the evenings.

It’s not just planning for the two weddings but also the time of year that it falls out that adds to the intensity of what needs to be done. Of course there’s the week of sheva brachos celebrations nightly following each wedding – I didn’t know until my son got married that it’s the sheva brachos that really wipe you out!

The second wedding will be the night before Purim; we’ll celebrate Purim, and the next day we’ll go right into the Shabbos sheva brachos we’re hosting. When people hear the specifics of the dates they look at me and ask with great intensity, “But HOW are you going to do that???”

I tell myself (and them) I’ll just keep it simple and it will all get done. That works to keep me from getting stressed about it all.

A couple of days ago, someone said to me, “All the work you’ve done on yourself for years is going to come into play right now.” She’s a life coach – can you tell? :) She’s right, though. Years ago I could have done everything that needed to be done, but not without stressing myself and everyone around me.  I wouldn’t even have had the goal that I have now, let alone the internal tools to meet that goal – to enjoy this very special season of life and to be emotionally present and relaxed.

So much to do!

So much to do!


Here’s an update on some of the non-wedding stuff I’m busy with this week:

Right now we’re working on making different school arrangements for ds15. The new program he was in hasn’t actualized in the manner it was originally described. Good people and good intentions, but different than what we signed him up for and not a match for him.

I’m starting the process of registering Rafael for a specific day care for the coming year – this day care has a special inclusion program and there’s a lot of demand for the very limited spots. I met director yesterday, got the registration form, and toured the facility. In a couple of days the evaluations and letters of recommendation I requested last week from different professionals should be ready.

If you’re wondering why I’m putting Rafael in day care since I’m home with the other kids… there are things I need to do because he’s a foster child. I was initially told he needed to start day care this past September when he was nine months but I pushed for him to be able to stay home with me for another year. My goal is to find the best option for him; I have a good feeling about this particular program and think it will be a good match for us.

Speaking of educational plans for next year, I’m also beginning the application process for Yirmi to attend a gan safa (kindergarten with a language focus) in the coming September.  Though it seems incredibly early to be thinking about next year,  it’s not! This is exactly when all the applications start to go in for the next school year. This week I’ve been working on getting his paperwork together and hope to open a file for him with the municipality this week.  I’ve been told that I’ll need to advocate strongly to get him in to a gan safa since they prefer to place children with T21 in lower functioning frameworks rather than with ‘typical’ children with language delays. But there are enough parents who have already done this that it’s not blazing a new trail to get this accommodation.

It might seem ironic or confusing that I’ve just spent all this time and energy to procure an authorization to homeschool him for the current school year and here I go turning around to get him into the school system for next year! It’s actually because of the positive experience dealing with the bureaucracy that I feel ready to deal with this gan process. Prior to this, I was concerned that if Yirmi was in gan safa (which I think he would LOVE!), I would be refused an authorization to homeschool him the following year. Now I’ve decided to take the advocacy for him one year at a time and not worry about what will happen too far down the road.

Oh – and yes, Rafael is still waking up in the middle of the night! Not loving that very much. 2 am looks much better to me when my head is undisturbed on my pillow. :) Actually, 7 am looks much better to me when my head has been undisturbed from my pillow at 2 am. :) So goes life!



9 thoughts on “Really busy but not stressed – well, mostly not!

  1. wishing you tons of bracha and hatzlaocha, that whatever you need to get done for the weddings, and the boys schooling, will go smoothly and quickly!

  2. I just saw this documentary last night, and immediately thought of you. It’s about a sister who is taking care of her elderly brother, who has T21. It’s really beautiful, but sad in places. Everyone thinks T21 kids are cute, but hardly anybody thinks about them as adults, never mind as elderly adults.

    1. This was really beautiful, in a way that I didn’t expect. I was deeply touched to see how included Norm was in the lives of so many people, despite what externally seemed like his limitations. The love and appreciation of who he was, was just beaming out of the documentary. Thank you for sharing the link, Yocheved.

      I don’t agree that no one thinks about what will happen when kids with T21 grow up – I know I’ve thought about it quite a bit and I believe that most parents do. Many who terminate have explained that fear the future was a significant consideration. We forget that we don’t know the future of any of our children and we have no guarantees about how their lives (or our own) will unfold.

      Regarding Alzheimers specifically, this is where the targeted nutritional supplementation is critical. Alzeimer’s isn’t inevitable for people with T21.

  3. Thank you for sharing the documentary, I only watched the beginning and it was very touching to see the unconditional love and devotion between brother and sister, and so sad at the times that norm felt lost. I hope people think of children with T21 as more than just cute, they are a world of unique personality and talents and struggles like all of us. And Baruch HaShem they age as do we all. Sure many older people who have T21 need assistance, but there are many “normal” adults who have serious challenges living successful independent lives. We have to be so grateful for our relationships and to people to whom we can turn to for support and connection. I hope I am expressing my thoughts clearly. Thank you again for sharing this documentary, I hope to finish watching it.

    1. Miriam, your answer is so beautiful and you said so much in just a few sentences.

      I don’t like when people talk about those with T21 with a focus on their cuteness. Because a person is so much more than that, just as you said.

    1. Thank you so much for your comment and the link to the article, Mushky! I very much enjoyed it – I love reading things from like-minded people. I especially appreciate the experience of those whose children are adults – so much perspective to gain from.

      1. You’re welcome. I don’t always know when people will appreciate me sharing and when they won’t. I did think you would like to read it so I took the chance. I am happy you enjoyed. :)

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