When I first thought of having to sell our home, I dreaded the idea. It felt like so much pressure to have strangers in my personal space; I pictured the tension of scurrying around to get it spic and span for the people who would be walking through and noticing every corner. I felt stressed just thinking about it.

I recognized I was creating a negative picture and I was going to have to reframe this experience for myself if I wanted it to be any better than what I was imagining! I reminded myself that no one was judging me if the house didn’t sparkle, and if they did, it still had nothing to do with me. My job was to let my home be seen and to stay calm and relaxed during the time our home was on the market.

One day I thought about the connection and happiness that has been part of our life in this home, all the love and good energy that the walls have absorbed. I pictured a family moving in and enjoying the space as much as we have. Instead of worrying about when our home would sell, what amount we would get for it, what kind of terms, etc, I kept this image of a loving family enjoying our home at the forefront of my mind.

Our home was on the market for four months before we accepted an offer (a very low offer was made early on that we didn’t consider). Logistically, you could say that we didn’t have good timing, since we started the month before the fall holidays (when no one is buying), then there were three weeks of holidays (when no one is buying) and only after the holidays, the season officially opens.

Since our home was available when the market opened, we had lots of people interested in viewing it. However, though we got a lot of positive feedback, generally people want to view a lot of homes before feeling ready to make an offer and that was what we kept hearing – that people liked it but wanted to look at more homes.

I never allowed myself to think that our timing was bad. Instead, I focused on the thought that everything was working out perfectly for us and would continue to work out for us, and pictured it all coming together with perfect timing.

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This entire selling experience has been surprisingly positive (particularly for someone who dreaded it to the degree that I did). For the most part I didn’t feel pressured about people coming except for one time when I was told people were already waiting in front of our building. I was sick, and felt overwhelmed trying to do anything in those few minutes. However, this helped me clarify my boundaries and from then on I requested that we be given notice the day before. If I was asked on very short notice, I would only agree if I felt I could do it without stress for me and my family members.

So I was feeling good about well we were doing with this process.

Then one day, people were supposed to come to see the house, something that happened 2 – 3 times a week. One son cleaned up his part of the room before going out. He came home to find his brother hadn’t cleaned up his part of the room. He got upset at his brother and saying how messy it would be when people came, and then started crying from the pressure he was feeling. He told me he can’t take having people coming in to look at our house anymore.

I thought if a child would feel like this it would be as a reflection of my own tension. But I was actually pretty consistently calm and positive during these months; I tried not to put pressure on anyone to clean up to a high standard or in a rush or anything like that.

I tried to reassure him that there was no pressure, there was plenty of time for his brother to put his things away, and sent him outside to ride his bike until after the potential buyers left. But seeing his deep distress, I thought, “Hashem (G-d), it’s been fine until now but now it’s too much. It’s too much for my son. We need to sell now. “

That week some people came to look at our home. They came back a second time, then a third time. When they officially made an offer on the house, I told this same son about it before anyone else. He was so excited! He went out to a friend and walked in two hours later, still smiling broadly. I asked him why he was so happy, and he said, “Because now we don’t have to have people coming through our house anymore!”

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When we first considered the idea of moving to a different part of the country, it was kind of overwhelming. We would have to buy a new home in an unfamiliar neighborhood, sell our current home, my husband would have to find a new job, our kids would need to find different educational options…it was a lot to think about.

As we discussed more and more what we wanted, it seemed even more unrealistic. Specifically regarding the house, the two biggest points were wanting to stay until the end of the school year, and not wanting to pay a mortgage/rent on two homes. I could picture the sellers agreeing to us staying longer, but couldn’t think of a scenario in which we wouldn’t have to pay two house payments, since we’ll be completing the sale of our home in Yavne’el in March and staying here until the end of June.

I love when life reminds me that I don’t have to find the way to make what I want happen; I just have to know what I want and then turn it over for G-d to work it all out!

We signed a contract to sell our current home a week ago and the payment terms will make it possible for us to pay off our current mortgage around the same time that we will begin paying a mortgage on our new house. My husband and I marveled at how easily and perfectly things fell into place.

It’s now official: we will be staying in Ramat Beit Shemesh until the school year ends and moving to Yavne’el the beginning of July!

Avivah