Some time ago, a long time reader sent a private message to me and commented that she felt that my posts have recently have a tone of fear that she didn’t see in the past.
I was bothered by this comment, very bothered. I especially value the feedback of those reading here for a long time and take it seriously, and have taken a long break from blogging while I contemplated the various aspects of this comment, the possible intentions, my intentions, etc.
Blogging is a challenging thing. A blogger chooses to open up and share about his thoughts, his life, his interpretations of events….and obviously it’s not possible for everyone reading to accurately sense the emotion that is behind the writing. And even if they could, everyone isn’t going to agree with all that they read.
That’s fine. As nice as it is to get positive feedback and to know that I’m writing in a way that resonates with others, it’s unrealistic to expect that others will always like and agree with everything I say.
I’ve mentioned in the past that it’s become emotionally constraining for me to communicate in the technologically censored world we have shifted to in the last two years. So many things can no longer be said, or no longer feel safe to say, that I tend to close up and don’t write about many, many things on my mind.
I was fortunate to encounter the internet in its earlier days, when it was a much more open place than it is now, and in hindsight I can see how unique a time it was. For me, the loss of that space and the freedom to connect with others in a deeply authentic way is something I mourn. Mainstream media has always been censored to some degree, and perhaps it’s to be expected that the censorship has caught up on the internet. Whether I should be bothered by it or not, the reality is it’s a very, very different climate than what existed when I began blogging almost 16 years ago. I can say with absolute certainty that I would never have begun blogging at this time in history.
How to continue to communicate amidst this shift has been an internal struggle; it’s a hard thing for someone who perceives transparency and truth as paramount values, to stay silent about important issues.
When so little is being said in the mainstream media about a topic, I’m aware that I may be seen as creating an issue that doesn’t exist by mentioning it. I’m not a gloom and doomer; I don’t enjoy talking about negative things and that’s not where I want to focus my energies. I prefer to focus on the good things in the world, which is part of my decades long gratitude practice.
However, I also don’t want to practice toxic positivity. There’s a spiritual principle that by putting our attention on something, we can cause it to increase or be drawn to us, and naturally one doesn’t want to draw negativity to one’s self. To many that means not acknowledging when negative things are happening, instead trying to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist.
For me, that doesn’t work. What does work is to acknowledge the situation that is triggering fear, recognizing what aspect makes me fearful, then taking steps so that I don’t feel fearful. The steps can be spiritual or physical, and for me usually are both.
If I write about those topics here, it’s usually after doing this work inside myself. For example, I didn’t write about food shortages until I felt inner calm about it. When I did bring up that topic, it was with the intention to encourage others to take a concrete and positive action and thereby create a buffer for themselves.
Am I creating fear by mentioning a topic of concern? Possibly. Who wants to hear someone say that the world isn’t rainbows and unicorns? Honestly, I shy away from bad news and prefer not to hear it, so I understand anyone else who does the same. However, it was because I felt so concerned over a year ago that I began to look more deeply into economics and other related topics. I choose to look current world events in the eyes because I prefer not to cower under my emotional covers by pretending the bogeyman isn’t there. And talking about the reality that I see doesn’t mean that I’m fearful.
If I’m sharing something that feels alarming to you, please share in the comments what it is and why. I’ll be glad to share how I found my own inner quiet if I also felt those concerns (chances are high that I did!). And if you’d rather not read that topic, that’s also fine.
Although for the most part I don’t feel fearful and actually am quite positive overall, I can see that my efforts to write in a more roundabout way than in the past on potentially sensitive topics could come across as fearful, because it’s not my usual tone. I think what may have come across wasn’t fear of the topic itself, but hesitancy about how to share about it in this climate that is coming through.
Please continue to share your sincere feedback with me. It’s not always comfortable but that’s how we all grow.
Avivah
Not sure I understood this complaint completely, but I myself wish I could accomplish Half of what you do in your day/week/spare time. I think we might just have spaces of time which might be more /less hectic for a family/parent. You are kind enough to share with us much of what is going on in your life/family life. Thanks so much Avivah! Hope the family is well.
Thanks so much, Rachelli! Thank you, everyone is doing great!
Hi Avivah –
I’m really glad you addressed this. I actually become very easily alarmed, and I also become VERY alarmed easily! I know a lot of this is my body and its learned early responses to stress and of course I work on that. Because of my sensitivity, I don’t listen to the news, but I have chosen to continue reading what you have to say, even the scary stuff! Even though some posts may alarm me greatly, I feel you write about topics which ultimately are important and helpful to know about, and that you are often able to often give us concrete steps to take.
I would appreciate to hear if a particular topic you write about was alarming to you and how you found inner calm. I think this could help a lot.
Thank you so much for your feedback, Chaya Dina! And thank you for the suggestion for a topic.
I love that you are being honest in this censored internet world. Keep strong girl
Well, I can’t say I’m being completely honest about the things I don’t talk about, but I am about the things I do discuss! Thanks for the warm feedback, b.
Totally agree!!!
Kelly
Thanks, Kel!
I enjoy your content and have never felt any negative vibes while reading.
Always a spark of pleasure when I see you waiting in my inbox. I only wish we can meet regularly in person. Regretful that a personal relationship isn’t possible since I admire your authenticity and positive nature.
Wishing you much hatzlacha.
What a nice comment, Hannah, I appreciate it so much!
I have known of you for 16 years. I came to your house and bought three ducks from you. I myself have a large family. Yes, you are an amazing person however, because you see things happening and acknowledging them is of a sign of fear. It’s looking at a problem and offering possible solutions to help. Keep strong and keep the faith!
Cathy! I had no idea that you read my blog – how nice! I hope you and your family (you had seven children then, didn’t you?) are doing well.
Not a frequent commenter but always an appreciative and admiring reader. As always I appreciate your authenticity. I echo the comment above – wish I could accomplish and be a tenth of what you do and are. So only appreciation and positivity from me. Thanks for your blog that inspires true growth.
To be honest, I think it seems like I do more than I do. I rest a lot, too!
Thanks for the appreciation and your kind comments.
I really missed your posts and kept checking if there was anything new. I appreciate your thoughts and feelings. I have not felt fear in your posts but rather a sharing of information, trying to educate as you’ve done with many topics in the past. Your honesty and authenticity are so appreciated.
Thank you so much for continuing to check in even when I wasn’t posting, Chanie! And thank you so much for your feedback, it’s really appreciated.
I have heard the hesitancy in your tone, and you have developed a more roundabout way of speaking about certain topics. I can see why people might interpret that as fear.
I always appreciate hearing your opinions and information, and I wish you were able and felt comfortable to write more openly. I know you can’t though, especially after seeing that your website was shut down for a few days last year.
Thank you, Kaila, for the confirmation that the shift in my tone might be giving a different impression than what is intended. That’s very helpful.
I’ve thought a lot about adopting a ‘who cares’ attitude and writing what I want, the way I want. I wish it was less of a dilemma, as it’s quite a multifaceted issue. Thanks for understanding the challenge!
I really appreciate this post and while I don’t blog (at least not yet), I can totally relate because I have had to censor my communication, both in writing and on the phone and in person with many, many people in my life. When I don’t, it leads to machlokes, which hurts everyone. It’s such a hard balance, as you want to help wake people up to help them but as they see things in a totally different way, it’s best to stay on neutral topics with certain people. At the same time, if someone seems open to listening, then that’s the time to start to say more. You are in a particularly tough situation, b/c you can’t know the perspective of all of your readers. But I do think more and more people are waking up and by supporting each other, we are bringing more peace and healing to the world. Like Kaila, I wish you could just be totally open to write your feelings but we all understand that in our current reality, speaking vaguely is necessary. It’s more prudence than fear.
Yes, there is what to be afraid of – there always has been but G-d is always there for us and that belief will always sustain us.
I do think more and more people are waking up and by supporting each other, we are bringing more peace and healing to the world.
The number of people awakening is hopeful, and if we can keep our energy positive instead of descending into fear , we will definitely bring much needed healing to our world. I’m optimistic!
I wish you could just be totally open to write your feelings but we all understand that in our current reality, speaking vaguely is necessary. It’s more prudence than fear.
Since writing this post, the US government has introduced the Disinformation Governance Board. The purpose is to combat misinformation and disinformation on the internet – and who gets to decide what is true and what isn’t? Basically, whatever is their perception is the only ‘truth’ that will be allowed to be shared.
(The week I wrote about my hesitations about jumping onboard with the climate change issue, that topic was added to the list of things that can’t be questioned anymore. I knew it would one day be forbidden to discuss it – that’s why I chose to write about it before it became off limits – but didn’t expect it a few days after writing about it! Censorship is piling up fast.)