We’re busy with Purim preparations around here!

Dd6 and ds6 had Purim parties in their kindergartens yesterday for which they dressed up in costumes. The twins’ parents told them during a visitation almost six weeks ago that they were bringing costumes for them and told them what costumes they were buying for each of them. They’ve been talking about wearing them literally every day. During that very visit, I purchased the costume for ds11 from a branch of the same store that their father works in, and when they came out of the visit talking about the costumes, I knew exactly what their parents were planning to buy.

Two weeks later we had a missed visitation when the kids were sick, then had a video call in which the parents again told them about the costumes. A week later, I took them for another visit with their parents, and asked the supervising social worker to be sure the kids dressed in their new costumes and their parents took pictures for themselves.

They came out an hour later LOADED with treats – two big bags filled with candies and wafer and snack bags – but no costumes. I asked the social worker where the costumes were – she blithely responded that they would bring them to the next visit two weeks later – after Purim.

The next time the twins were talking about the costumes their parents were going to give them, I gently told them that they weren’t going to be seeing their parents before Purim. I didn’t tell them they wouldn’t be dressing up in the anticipated costumes but they realized it on their own. It was sad to me when after five weeks of talking every day about wearing the costumes from their parents, without any discussion between them or me, they suddenly switched to talking about different costumes. They were very excited about the costumes I got them and dd6 was so sweet in thanking me repeatedly after I surprised her with a crown and makeup, to add to the costume she knew she would be wearing.

I wasn’t excited about the costumes they were supposed to get, but I was frustrated that their parents had talked about it so much, for so long, and then didn’t deliver on their promises. I know they have their issues but I had a hard time justifying this oversight as their father works every single day in the store that sells them and they’ve been in stock for many weeks. I asked our social worker to convey to the parents’ social worker that even though it will be after Purim, it would be good for the children if they bring the costumes to the next visit. That way, their disappointment will be mitigated and they can still use them for dress-up during the year (the younger three kids play dress-up about five days a week).

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Today was Taanis Esther (Fast of Esther), and ds7 and ds11 had the day off. Since ds6 went off the rails emotionally after coming home from his class Purim party yesterday, I thought it would be good to keep him home and help him settle his nervous system. With Purim being such a busy and stimulating time, carving out some quiet and connection time seemed like a good thing to do. I then decided to keep dd6 home, too, and I’ll keep them home tomorrow (Friday) as well so they’ll go into Purim as rested and calm as possible. (My daughter told me that in Jerusalem Friday is a day off for the schools, but that’s not the case for our area – it seems there are different official holiday dates in different parts of the country.)

We all took ds14 to Tiberias to buy the remaining accessories for the costumes for him, ds16 and my husband, and pick up his suit for Pesach. (I took the boys suit shopping for Pesach at the beginning of the week but the suit he wanted wasn’t in stock in his size so they ordered it for him). The three of them are doing a theme of chasidim and needed streimels (fur hats) and white knee socks. I bought their bekeshes (long satin coats), chasidish tzitzis and chasidish kippas at a second hand place in Bet Shemesh. Planning their costumes together has heightened the anticipation for Purim.

Afterwards I took the younger four kids on a really nice trip. There was a lot of running around in the fresh air and it was just what they all needed after being in the car for so long. By the time we got home, we had been out for five and a half hours; the kids were exhausted and so was I. Bless my husband, who gave them all dinner and put them to bed.

As I said to one of my teens today, Purim is a holiday for the organized woman! There are so many things to do: prepare costumes for children, hear the megilla read in the evening and morning, prepare mishloach manot and deliver them all, keep the children fed and entertained throughout the day so they don’t get overdosed on sugar, and prepare the food for a festive Purim meal. This year there’s even more to do since Purim begins immediately after Shabbos ends, so there’s all the Shabbos preparations to do as well as the Purim preparation!

I took a nap while my husband did bedtime so I could get up to to get a start on preparing mishloach manos in a quiet kitchen. I always try to give foods that can be used for the Purim meal, and this year plan to give kugel and a couple of salads.

Several weeks ago I ordered some decorative boxes for the mishloach manos. When they arrived, they were bigger than I had pictured. I decided to use them anyway but filling them requires making bigger quantities of foods than I had intended. Fortunately I have plenty of ingredients to make many multiples of each recipe. I have a mountain of eggshells and in the morning our chickens will happy to eat them all. (I crumble them first.)

I stayed up very late to get the Purim baking finished. Since I’m an early riser staying up late isn’t usually the best use of my energy, but in addition to all the regular things that need to be done for Shabbos, in the morning I’ll need to get ds11 and ds7 ready for their class Purim parties and take dd6 to her therapist appointment. I’m so glad to have all the cakes and kugels baked and wrapped, and the salads are almost finished as well – they just have to be put into containers.

My husband and boys did a lot of the prep work to make this easier for me, and while we were up late together, I advised my sixteen year old son regarding how to make granola he wanted to make (he’s giving yogurt and granola). My fourteen year old son also made a large pan of lemon mousse for the Purim meal. He’ll be making Yerushalmi kugel in the morning to go along with the crackers and herring he’s already prepared. There so much to do and it’s nice to have all of this taken care of.

Now on to Shabbos and Purim meal preparations!

Avivah