At the beginning of June I received a call from one of my married daughters.

She had been approached by a neighbor who wanted to know if our twenty one year old son was dating yet. I answered no, he’s not. It was almost his birthday but our sons wait until 22 before going out.

She commented that several people over the course of the last year have made the same suggestion to the neighbor, who is the aunt of the young woman suggested, as well as to my daughter. When my daughter was approached about it a few months ago she told them he wasn’t starting but at this point called since she wasn’t sure of his timeframe.

For me, hearing that a few people thought of the same idea is interesting but not enough to change my time line. When my last son was dating, eleven different people made the same suggestion of a young lady, people who knew him and her well. It seemed so perfect on paper that it seemed everyone was sure it was going to work out.

They went out once and my son came back and told me she’s definitely not a match for him.

So with this current suggestion, I was kind of like, that’s nice but he’s not dating now.

Then my daughter added, “I also know her pretty well and I think it’s a really good idea.”

As soon as she said those words, it became something for me to consider seriously. My daughter not only obviously knows our family and her brother well, but is an excellent judge of character and has a lot of insight. I asked her for more information, and she gave me a very good picture of who the young woman is.

I told her I needed to rethink my position on delaying him starting to date and would get back to her. I thought about why I was hesitant for him to begin dating and realized it had nothing to do with his emotional readiness, but with my desire to delay having to deal with the technicalities of the dating process.

I recognized that there was no reason for me to hold him back when someone who sounded perfect for him was being suggested. After getting clarity on some things we wanted to know, a date was set up.

From the start felt comfortable and relaxed with each other. I know he has the ability to synthesize a lot of details quickly and accurately, and shouldn’t have been surprised when after the second date, he told me he was confident she was right for him.

When he came home from the fourth date, he told me he was ready to propose whenever she would be ready. Early into the fifth date the topic of engagement came up and it was clear they were on the same page. He called to ask when I would be able to meet her, so my husband and I drove in the next night to meet her; that was Monday. Two and a half weeks after their first date they got engaged; last night shortly after he proposed we celebrated the l’chaim in Jerusalem with family and close friends. The official engagement party will be next week.

We’ve never had a child find his soulmate as quickly and easily as this. It’s an amazing kindness from Heaven.

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This will be my sixth child in seven years to get married. They were born within nine years of one another but somehow it still feels astonishing that they’re all getting married in what is relatively a short time.

When I was a teenager and heard of people getting engaged after going out for two or three weeks, I couldn’t imagine how that was a good thing. They hardly know each other, for goodness sakes!

Yet, the charedi shidduch system is one that works very, very well. There are divorces in our world, we have unhappy marriages just like every society – but there is a strong positive value on marriage and on family; we believe a soul is incomplete until he is reunited with his other half. And the very positive results in our society reflect those values.

I deeply appreciate the shidduch system and the wisdom that is behind it. Young men and women go out with one another after a lot of thought beforehand – by people who know them well who want to see them happy – regarding compatibility in terms of personality, life direction and outlook and families. This narrows their dating to people who have a good chance of being a good fit for them.

I look at all of our married children and their spouses, I look at all of their parents, and I marvel…how did Hashem send so many wonderful people to our family? While I’ve heard many stories of the sets of parents of the couple having a lot of intense conflict, we’ve never experienced that while planning any weddings. Obviously there will be differences in expectations that need to be ironed out, but we’ve been very blessed with very, very good people who have been reasonable and accommodating, and now another great family is joining the mix.

Hashem is always taking care of each of us, but there are times the extra kindness inherent in a situation that feels like a kiss from Heaven, and this engagement is one of those times.

Avivah