My house is settling back to normal as the teens are back to yeshiva. It’s always a little poignant for me when the teens are back to their usual schedule. I really enjoy having them around.

Before vacation ended they finished tiling and grouting the kitchen backsplash. It turned out beautifully.

They also did a garden project that wasn’t initially on the list of projects for this vacation. We had wooden stairs that lead to the chickens and goats, and there’s a vague sense of apprehension that I feel when going up with my hands full about the possibility of a step suddenly giving way.

I researched how to build concrete stairs, and asked ds19 to build the wooden form for the stairs and I would do the rest. He did it, but isn’t the type to leave the work to me and so he kept going once the stair form was built. The first step was to fill the area inside the stair form with rocks and building rubble to minimize the amount of concrete we would need. (Above you can see the first load of rubble under the stairs from the remains of the old kitchen backsplash).

Filling the forms was quite a job. Before we moved in the area next to our home was used as a dumping ground. We’ve cleared away a lot of garbage since we’ve been here, and now we cleared away all of the broken concrete pieces to use as filler. I gathered a large percentage of the filler material together with the youngest three kids. We still needed forty 25 kg bags of concrete to fill in the space remaining – we bought just six bags to start, not knowing how much we would need. We went back four or five times, each time buying more concrete, and after our last trip, ds17 told me that it would have to be enough because we finished the last of the hardware store’s supply!

I was planning to do what’s called a ‘dry pour’ since that’s physically less taxing but my boys wanted to do the traditional wet pour. I warned them that it would be hard physical labor but they insisted it wouldn’t be too hard. I can tell you they slept well both nights after mixing and pouring cement!

We’re all pleased with how the stairs turned out.

We didn’t do any work towards closing in the upstairs porch, a project I mentioned a few weeks ago. That’s because the materials we needed couldn’t be ordered and delivered until after vacation was over. The porch will hopefully be done during summer vacation, unless we can do it in smaller chunks of time before that. There were enough renovations to do without another big project so none of us minded the delay.

Of course they weren’t working away all the time. At the end of last week they had a bike trip around the Kinneret, and when the pedal of ds15’s bike unexpectedly broke off, I had a chance to rescue him and bring water refills to everyone else. They slept well the night they got home from that trip, too!

There were other trips and activities, but mostly time was spent enjoying family. Everyone agreed it was a great bein hazmanim.

The first of the three teens to leave for yeshiva was my nineteen year old son. He’s starting at a different yeshiva in Jerusalem. His experience at the last yeshiva helped him clarify what is most important to him and why, and he looked for something else with these points in mind.

My seventeen year old and I took him to the bus; me as the driver and ds17 as the muscle to help him load all of his luggage into the storage compartment under the bus. After they said goodbye and ds17 got back in the car, he told me what a nice person his brother is. I told him it’s not something to take for granted that they feel that way about each other.

A few hours later ds15 got home from four days away. He went to Ramat Beit Shemesh, where he spent a night at a friend’s house, then spent Shabbos with my oldest daughter, then had Shabbos lunch with my oldest son. On Sunday his oldest four siblings got together at a park so he was able to join them there. From there he went back to Jerusalem with my second daughter and spent the night and part of the next day at her home. He really enjoys and appreciates his older siblings and his very cute nieces and nephews, and had a great trip.

My seventeen and fifteen year olds attend the same yeshiva ketana here in Yavneel. They always start back from vacation a day or two after all of the other yeshivas, so they went back today. I continually marvel at how incredibly blessed we were that this yeshiva opened right when we wanted to send ds17 away to yeshiva two years ago. Actually, I didn’t know they had opened and I did send him to a Beit Shemesh yeshiva for six weeks, before I found out about the local option and brought him back here. It’s been so perfect for our family.

The likelihood of any yeshiva in the country being very compatible with our approach to education is low, but a highly compatible yeshiva opening a short walk from our home is odds defying.

When we first met with the principal to learn about their approach, he spoke for about a half hour before he excused himself to take a call in the middle of our conversation. When he went out, I turned to my husband and exclaimed, “He has no idea who we are and what our approach is to education, and he’s talking just like us!”

It’s a mainstream charedi yeshiva under the auspices of a well-known and respected rosh yeshiva who has already opened two large yeshivas. It’s very nice that there is this compatibility, because their messages to the boys have reinforced our messages to our boys, rather than contradicting one another. We and the staff have a mutual regard and appreciation for one another, which is also very nice.

Ds17 started learning there two and a half years ago, and ds15 began there a year and a half ago. Next year ds17 will be going to yeshiva gedola. His rebbeim spent a lot of time speaking to him about different options and going over the advantages and disadvantages of each. It’s an important decision and I appreciated their concern and input.

He had the best yeshivas in Jerusalem (Bnei Brak isn’t our style) recommended for him as a good fit and around Chanuka went to visit a number of them. I’ve gained perspective with my last four boys going to yeshiva gedola. Even though as a parent there’s the ego (or more nicely put, pride) aspect of having a son in one of the ‘top’ yeshivas, I have my reservations. My hesitations aren’t about if he can be successful there, because I’m confident he can hold his own anywhere.

The question that he and I both had was where he can grow the most as a person and in his learning. We had a number of discussions about what the gains could be for him at each yeshiva.

When his yeshiva made the decision to open a first year yeshiva gedola class next year, that became a serious option for him. He has excellent rebbeim, he’s grown tremendously during his time there, and he has a great chavrusa who was also considering joining the new group forming at this yeshiva. (They already have a yeshiva gedola/kibbutz for students that have already completed a couple of years of yeshiva gedola, so this isn’t starting a completely new yeshiva but extending what already exists.)

He will be going to the local yeshiva gedola in the fall and living in the dorm there; he’ll come home once a month for Shabbos just like every other student. So I’m appreciating my last months with him living at home. Sigh. So much work goes into raising children, and they become mature and helpful and a pleasure to spend time with – and then they leave.

As I’ve said, time goes by quickly and I try to enjoy each stage that we’re at.

Avivah