Recently we had our final meeting with our foster care social worker. She was the one who did our intake application and interviews, she was there when the transfer was made from the birth parents to us, and she’s come monthly for the last three and a half years for home visits.
Now that we’ve moved to a different part of the country, our file will be moved to a different organization that has jurisdiction locally. Hence the goodbye.
We took care of the formalities, and then she told me how much she appreciated working with us. She said,”Even though there have been times we’ve had strong disagreements (yes, when I found myself facing policies that I believed were harmful for my child!), I appreciate that you’ve always been willing to listen to me and consider my view, and that we’ve been able to talk about it.
She continued: “On a personal note, I have a lot to learn from you as a mother. Leadership Parenting, that’s what your approach is, right? I see that all the time, in the way you say ‘yes’ to your children and how you say ‘no’, really I see it in many different things you do. I can learn a lot from you.”
Picture taken by the social worker
Coming from someone who has been in my house regularly for years and has seen a lot of situations, her feedback was significant and appreciated.
Then there was two days later, when I was so, so, so frustrated with my seven year old and responded very disappointingly. I can’t even remember now what triggered it – it wasn’t something major – it was facing the kind of thing that I deal with every day.
A few months ago I went to a workshop on setting boundaries for kids with special needs. The workshop leader was excellent, but I felt very bothered listening and at the end I spoke up. “I’ve been using all these techniques for years – I’ve raised all my children like this. And it’s important to be clear that this approach doesn’t make it easy to parent a child with special needs – sometimes it just makes it possible to cope. Because I use these all day, every day, and sometimes it is just really hard. I think it’s important to be clear that if it’s hard doesn’t mean someone is doing something wrong.”
Yirmi (who is an awesome kid who happens to have Trisomy 21) will be eight in a week. When I think of that birthday I have to take some deep breaths and remind myself to let go of my idea of when things should happen, and also remind myself that as a parent, I’m enough.
I think that many (all??) parents struggle with these split emotions of sometimes doing great as a parent, and then falling on your face and feeling like a complete failure – sometimes within minutes. And you know what? There’s no contradiction to being a fantastic parent a lot of the time and struggling mightily at other times.
It’s the reality of parenting.
When I’m feeling discouraged and inadequate as a parent, I remind myself that I’m doing my best in every moment. We all are. Sometimes my best looks impressive and sometimes it really doesn’t look good at all, but with the good and with the not so good…..I’m enough.
This morning my husband and I took our kids to the Kineret (Sea of Galilee) for an early morning outing. It was so lovely. The sky, the air, the beautiful cranes swooping all around…glorious.
At one point, I looked at my husband, who smiled at me and said: “We’re living the dream.” I nodded back, with a deep feeling of appreciation.
What was he talking about?
Over the years we’ve talked about our vision for our lives a lot. Our personal ideal includes my husband working from home and being able to take the boys to synagogue with him, learning with them first thing in the day, and being able to have time for family outings. For years I’ve taken the kids on trips but my husband has usually been away at work. We’ve dreamed of much more integrated family time.
And now it’s happening.
Since moving three months ago, my husband now works from home three days a week, and works in Jerusalem the other two days. That means he’s home five days a week.
We’ve had corona restrictions in place that limited his ability to take the boys to shul (synagogue) until fairly recently. And now that piece, starting the day praying and learning together – something we’ve wanted for years! – is beginning to happen.
At dinner last night, I suggested we plan small outings that we can put into our regular schedule. We are blessed to live a very short drive from the Kineret (thank You, Hashem!!!), so we talked about going for just an hour. That would make it something we could easily integrate on a regular basis.
Two thumbs up – having fun!
This was our first time out as a family, and it showed us that it’s completely doable. My husband was able to start working by 10 am, and worked later in the day to offset the late start. We hope to do this once a week now!
Ds11
Sometimes we make our dreams and visions so big and complicated that they can’t happen. My experience is that by moving towards what I want and taking small steps in that direction, life keeps getting better and better.
I was upstairs on my porch when I heard loud yelling close by. I peered over my railing and saw a man screaming at my twelve year old son.
Now, you have to know that this son is a really, really good kid. Respectful, helpful, kind. What could someone be angry with him about?
This.
This is a path through agricultural fields – it’s meant to be used only by tractors for planting and harvesting but cars started using it as a shortcut. Yavneel is so small that this shortcut saves them literally about one minute of driving time. It’s bumpy and pitted, not something you’d want to drive on, but people sometimes do.
This morning my son was outside watching his two younger siblings, and the driver of a van coming through the fields from the opposite side encountered these rocks in the path and jumped out of his van. He began yelling; this is when I heard the shouting and came running.
I found my son in tears, moving the rocks aside and when I asked him what happened, he told me the guy screamed at him to clear the path. I told him to stop immediately and then spoke with the very agitated driver.
After a few minutes, he explained he was having a hard morning and apologized for getting so upset (he even tried to hug my son, who absolutely did not want to be touched by him). I told him I was sorry to hear that.
He then said, he’s been using this path for years every single morning and now is upset it’s been blocked. Now, I know this path hasn’t been in use for the last 2.5 months since it’s been blocked since before I moved here, but I also realized at some point it hadn’t been blocked up and he must have been using it before the corona quarantine.
I explained to him that it had been blocked for safety reasons because it’s not a road, and asked him if he would mind terribly to go around instead. I explained that children play here at the end of our block (which is more like a paved path than a street), that I have two young children with special needs and it is so much safer for them not to have cars using this as a shortcut. He quieted down and that’s when my neighbors heard what was happening and came over.
They both told him that this isn’t an official road and he shouldn’t be driving here.
As much as I appreciated the neighborly support and everything they said was said without yelling, this triggered him back into arguing to protect his ego. His demeanor shifted back to yelling. He said angrily, “She (meaning me) asked me nicely and I would stop using this path as a kindness to her, but now you’re telling me I’m not allowed to use this and you’re wrong.”
‘I’m right, you’re wrong.’ This never leads to anything productive. People just get increasingly entrenched in their positions.
To discuss points of disagreement with others, we must 1) be willing to see things through their eyes and 2) recognize how easily what we say can be perceived as a personal attack. It’s not easy to see others with differing viewpoints as well-intended, but there’s no productive conversation possible if you assume the other person is selfish, self-centered, and out to hurt you or your rights.
In the end, I followed him back to his car and said, “You’re right, it’s not an official road but this path has been used by cars and you’re allowed to drive here also. I’m asking you as a personal favor for the safety of the local children if you would mind going around instead.” He agreed.
Yesterday I drove my seventeen year old son to the bus station. He returned to his yeshiva, this time as a dorming student. Today I’ll take my nineteen year old daughter to the bus station as she moves out and begins a new job in Jerusalem. My husband will be going back to the office in a couple of days. (My twenty-one year old son studies at a very large yeshiva which hasn’t yet reopened so he’s still home.)
It’s been two months with everyone home – my husband and eight of our children – and this time has been incredibly precious to me.
Even when everyone else in the family was home together, my husband was always working and missing out. Now he’s been working from home and has been with us throughout the day, something he and I have dreamed of. It’s literally our ideal life.
Though I’d have preferred to have my three year old at home, as a foster child that option wasn’t available. Thanks to this situation, he’s been home for the last two months and won’t have to go back to school until the beginning of the school year. That’s a six month long reprieve for him and he’s thriving.
All of my children above the age of 10 except for one actively opposed moving. They really, really, really didn’t want to move. They loved living in RBS, they had friends and connections and a sense of belonging. My older three kids expected to be sporadic visitors with no sense of meaningful connection in our new community.
This was a move that none of them saw as benefiting them in any way. It would only make their lives more difficult, as two of our kids living at home would have to find somewhere else to live once we moved, and it would be a long trip whenever they came back home for a visit. A visit to a place where they didn’t want to be, didn’t belong and didn’t connect with.
Covid-19 changed everything for us.
First of all, I didn’t take anyone away from the life they loved by moving here. Corona regulations had already taken it all away before we moved. They couldn’t spend time with friends or participate in any of the activities they enjoyed. They couldn’t even go outside for a walk.
Moving became a solution rather than a problem.
We moved at the most beautiful time of year, with the most perfect weather, to the most beautiful part of the country. Even at the times with the most restrictions, we could be outside in our large yard and the younger kids could play in the fields next to the house.
There was so much to do once we moved, and that work was shared by everyone. This made our move so, so, so much easier, and also created a sense of involvement and connection to our new home.
Synagogues were closed when we moved and people were staying to themselves. My 21 year old son organized a minyan (prayer service) three times a day that met the quarantine guidelines – four of our family members prayed in our backyard, our next door neighbor prayed in his back yard, and the men in the two houses behind us prayed from their front yards and porches – everyone in their own space and at the same time, everyone together.
These were all people who usually would pray in different synagogues and not have mutual meeting points. Our older boys and my husband had a chance to meet neighbors they would have hardly seen otherwise. As the restrictions eased, the rest of us have gotten to know our immediate neighbors, too. It’s been over twenty years since I felt this connected to my neighbors – ironic, at a time of social distancing to feel so connected, isn’t it?
As a family, we have never had the level of relaxed connection and time together that we experienced during the last two months. Not even when I was homeschooling nine children at once. The time together was enhanced by the fact that there was nowhere else to be. This allowed everyone to relax and be present in the moment, without the urgency of needing/wanting to be somewhere else. It was a rare opportunity to us all to experience this inner quiet simultaneously for an extended period.
What do our children think about us moving now? Everything has been so much better than any of us expected. They not only like it a lot, but think it was a great decision to move here! That’s pretty amazing considering their feelings before we came.
In the last few weeks things have gradually been reopening and that’s a good thing. That’s a very, very good thing.
At the same time, I feel so wistful and almost sad that this time is ending. This has been an incredibly valuable and beautiful time that could not have been more perfectly scripted for our family. I hope we can find ways to continue to create this feeling as the busyness of life resumes.
As our older kids are starting to move out, it’s a comfort that this new place has become a place where they belong, a home where they’ll want to come back to.
Companion planting is such a fascinating concept! This is the term for when you plant various plants together that enhance the growth of another, provide pollination benefits or help resist pests.
Around each of my fruit trees, I planted flowers that will help repel harmful bugs while attracting beneficial insects. The flowers I’ve so far planted are marigolds, zinnias and petunias. All of these attract bees and butterflies, while repelling harmful insects. (I’m going to be interplanting these with my vegetable plants once they go in the ground, too.) There’s lots of fascinating information online about what chemicals they release in the air and in the roots, what insects they repel (and even what harmful insects they draw in).
Also in that same garden bed I’ve added four different gardenias, lavender and sage that are also great companion plants! I’m planning to add in some more green herbs, like parsley, basil and mint (which will have it’s own area since it spreads like a weed).
I’ve been composting heavily in the center of this bed, which is why I have so many more plants in the middle than around the edges. I’m working my way outward. All of these plants will hopefully spread and fill in with time and become much more lush.
If you’re doing some planting, however small, consider adding some companion plants that will make the birds and butterflies happy, while helping your main plant stay healthy!
When we bought our last home five years ago, it was critical to me that it had a garden, and in fact the home we bought had a small garden (28 meters) as well as a large porch. I was so grateful for that outdoor space! I had an extensive collection of succulents growing in pots on the porch, and a small border of plants and two fruit trees growing in the garden.
We are now in our new home and I am SO grateful to have a much larger yard so I can do more extensive gardening! I just love being outside and getting my hands in the dirt. I even enjoy weeding. 🙂 Which is good, because my yard is one huge mess of 4 – 5 foot high weeds.
Though I did some initial decorative planting, my priority was to get fruit trees into the ground before it’s too hot so that they can set better. I’ve spent a few weeks reading about different fruits that I’m interested in (many exotic and unfamiliar to me) but honestly got a little overwhelmed thinking about it all.
I decided to keep it simple and enjoy gradually expanding and learning new things, rather than trying to buy everything I might want at once.
Here’s what this space looked like before. I was hopeful that the tree there was a citrus, but when I asked the guy at the nursery, he said it absolutely wasn’t. He thought it was probably ficus, a large tree planted for shade with destructive roots that rip up concrete, and strongly recommended removing it. So I did and it’s now in a pot next to my front door.
You can see the corner where I started weeding. 🙂
As soon as the local nursery reopened for in-person customers last week, I was there first thing in the morning!
Citrus are easy fruits to grow in Israel and I bought a Valencia orange and clementine; I don’t see the other citrus options being something we would use much of. I strongly believe in planting things you will eat. It doesn’t matter how well it grows; if you won’t use it, why bother planting it?
Additionally in this 18 meter space I’ve planted loquat and persimmon. I did quite a bit of reading about spacing for fruit trees to determine how many I could plant; I was surprised that fruit trees in a home garden can be planted just 18 inches apart if they are well pruned! In addition to typical planting, there are also some cool things you can do like espalier (growing along a fence) or growing them over a garden arch.
I considered putting eight trees in this space. The choice was: more kinds of fruits but more pruning of each tree, and less yield on each tree, or more fruit on fewer trees and less pruning. I decided to go with the latter.
Back to front: orange, clementine, loquat, persimmon, each surrounded by companion plants.
I got one grape vine, the Isabella, which I read is the only grape vine in Israel that doesn’t require spraying with pesticides. It’s good for eating and making juice. I only got one because grape vines spread tremendously so I’ve left over ten feet in each direction unplanted. I intend to tie it up so it will cover this very strong but not too visually appealing fencing.
A few days later at a different nursery I got two pitango bushes, which will grow into a living fence along the fencing we put in to close off the back yard. Pitango (also known as pitanga or surinam cherries) make a great hedge and also have edible berries. My preference is to grow plants that have some kind of edible output.
I also planted an Ettinger avocado in a different part of the yard (a pic of that will follow in a post regarding a different project). I planted this separate from the others because it grows much taller and I wanted it to be in a space where the shade it provides will be appreciated (ie not next to the pergolas which will be our sukka!).
When I go back to Beit Shemesh in the next couple of weeks to get the last of our stuff out and clean up our apartment, I’m going to take out the plum, nectarine and jasmine and replant them here.
My family was discussing what aspects of this quarantine period they appreciate, and here is some of what they shared:
no rushing, being able to go at a more relaxed pace
enjoying being at home and participating instead of feeling there’s something else you’d rather be doing and resenting being asked to help out
family meals three times a day
working together on projects
being more patient and kind to your siblings
my husband working from home
no need to get the younger boys to school and from school and therapies
Having moved a month ago and having a bigger space has been a nice plus, but everyone felt we would have done just fine if we had stayed where we were, too. Some things would have been different, but we would have still enjoyed being together.
It takes time to learn to be together around the clock. Lots of families are feeling very challenged by this, and it’s okay to not love it and it’s okay to want it to be over.
But it’s also an opportunity many families are enjoying. One father told my son, “I realized I never knew who my kids were, and now I’m getting to know them.” There’s now a global opportunity to experience a deeper level of connection with our families.
If you’re struggling, realize you can make your thoughts work for you by shifting perspectives. There are plenty of negatives that we can all find and if you focus on that, it’s going to be hard! Being able to view this time as a positive opportunity is the first step to opening the door to a more positive and enjoyable experience.
For me, the togetherness and being able to make our own schedule has always been the best part of homeschooling, and I’m really loving having that again!
Since moving a week and a half ago, we’ve been super busy. The days are full, but as busy as we’ve been, it’s been enjoyable and we haven’t felt rushed.
In addition to rebuilding closets, unpacking and settling in, here’s some more that we’ve been up to.
Clearing junk – First of all, we needed to clear out the large amount of junk that was left behind. Though this shouldn’t have been left for us to deal with, we appreciated the seller let us move in before the sale was complete, and considered this the price for our early move. It was a lot of stuff and definitely a task of its own.
The bulk trash pickup system here is very different than what I was used to in a city! After piling it near the driveway, I had to call someone who works for the municipality to come and pick it up. It took a few days but at 8 am one morning, there was a knock on my door and there was the guy for the bulk pickup, telling me to send out someone to load the stuff onto his tractor.
I went out to see a trailer hooked up to his tractor, and a few of the boys ran out to load it up. It was great to get all that trash out and have a fresh slate to get working!
Pergolas – Even though there is plenty to do inside, we decided our first big project would be building a pergola. Right now the weather is so beautiful and working outside is a pleasure – that won’t be the case for much longer! We have a very sunny exposure and it gets incredibly hot here in the summer. Having a pergola will provide us with a shaded outdoor area for playing and hanging out, so we can enjoy the outdoors rather than escaping inside to the a/c.
I wanted to build a large pergola on the front of the house and a smaller pergola on the side, to create two different areas for relaxing and playing.
Ds21 is not only highly competent, he’s a really good team leader. He had all of the other kids (except ds3) involved in moving lumber from the end of our walkway where the delivery truck left it, and then painting all of it.
Painting boards – dd19, ds17, ds14; ds21 and ds7 the foreground
For the actual building, he instructed ds14, ds12 and ds17 so they were learning as they went along (dd19 and dd23 were very involved in building our last pergola in RBS). I really appreciate them having the opportunity to learn real life skills. Working on a project like this builds competence as well as confidence.
Ds12 using the jigsaw to cut the decorative designs on the ends of the boards Night activity at the Werners – ds12 and ds21 on ladder drilling in ledger boards to houseRaising the first beam – from left to right, ds21, ds17, ds12 and ds14 on ladder. Ds14 using circular saw to trim boards downThe large pergola on the front of the house, finished! The smaller pergola on the side of the house, finished except for attaching monkey bars.
Gate – The yard has a wall around most of it, with an opening in the front and back. I have two young children and a dog who I’d like to let run freely in our garden without worrying they’re going somewhere they shouldn’t. Ds21 and ds14 built a gate and a small fence next to it, to make our space safer for them.
The entrance to our yard, before. The gate and small fence next to it, where the wall is low enough for a child to easily climb over.
Chickens/duck research – the yard is a huge overgrown space, filled with tall weeds. I’ve been thinking a lot about getting chickens, since they are the ultimate composting/tilling machines They are super practical! However, I’m strongly drawn to ducks (they are so cute and entertaining!!), even though they aren’t as efficient when it comes to eating leftovers.
I found a seller of the breed of ducks I’m interested in, but due to the lockdown situation I’m not able to pick them up. So I’m deliberating about getting chickens locally in the meantime or waiting a while to add any livestock to our mini-homestead. 🙂
I’ve also been thinking about putting in fruit trees. I would love to get them into the ground before Pesach and prepared my order to call it into the nursery, which delivers. Realistically with all that we have to do in the house and getting ready for Pesach (haven’t even started getting the kitchen ready!), it’s too much to add a project like this in the next two days.
I was ready to push to get it done until I realized there is no external faucet for the garden. Not only no faucet, but no plumbing was laid to connect us to the main water source (there’s different water for gardens) from the municipality. How in the world do you build a house with a large garden and not build the infrastructure to connect to the water system?!? It seems we have to contact the water company to find out what’s involved in getting pipes laid and hooked up and since I haven’t yet done that (I’ve been plenty busy with other things!), I have no idea what that entails in terms of cost or time.
Planting the trees without having a watering system in place is going to be much more work than I’m ready for, so as much as I would love to get them in now while it’s still cool and wet, I’m reluctantly going to have to wait.
I’ve been doing lots of weed pulling, and started putting in landscaping plants along with some vegetable plants. I love waking up early and working in the garden while everyone else is still sleeping. I love it!! When I’m gardening I enjoy it so much that I don’t realize how much work it is, but now I’m stiff and sore from the unexpected workouts!
This partially buried piping was obstructing our walkway entrance. Once I got started digging the pipe out, I decided to plant some succulents that will fill in nicely with time and require minimal care.
Painting – Last year a leak from the porch upstairs had caused unsightly peeling paint on the ceiling below in several places. Immediately after signing on the home in the fall we had the core issue fixed so there is no new water damage despite the extensive rains this year, but we still had to deal with the remaining cosmetic damage.
We scraped down the ceiling, spackled it, resanded it, painted it and now it looks so good! We have lots more painting to do – the main floor is mostly okay but the upstairs is in serious need of painting in every single room. That’s going to be a big project since the people before us stuck up some adhesive fake brick stuff in the main area that we’re going to have to take down, then do lots of spackling and sanding before we get to the point we can paint it. That will definitely not happen before Pesach!
I wanted to have the colors of the ocean for the living room, so I chose pale sand and pale teal paint colors. Due to the lockdown I ordered the colors from my computer instead of going in person. Unfortunately, things look different on a screen, so I now have a light blue instead of teal! It looks nice, though quite different than what I was envisioning.
The boys painted one bedroom upstairs, and hopefully will do another couple of rooms today.
We still have lots of unpacking and organizing to do, which is impeded by not being able to buy the furniture we’re missing. If I would buy new, I could have it delivered but it still wouldn’t have been here before Pesach, and in any case that’s not what I budgeted for. So I’ll have to wait until the restrictions are lifted to buy from private sellers; for now, I’ve made a makeshift closet for my room by stacking several sturdy boxes on top of each other. It’s not beautiful but it’s better than unpacked boxes all over the floor!
Dog grooming – Our dog loves running through the grassy fields surrounding our home! This has created a new topic for us to learn about – ticks. 🙁 To make it easier to see if something attached to him, ds17 gave Sheleg a haircut – it doesn’t look professional but considering it was his first time, he did a great job! It’s much more functional. We’ve all gotten a quickie course in recognizing and removing ticks. Fun times.
There’s so much to do, and it’s so nice being able to do this together, with everyone is home.
And today, I’m going to get started on getting my kitchen ready for Pesach!
>>How do you keep going when it is so very painful to exist in this world? I rarely share my problems. I always feel like other people probably have it worse. What keeps you going? If you have any wisdom for me, I’m all ears.<<
This weekend I received this question, and though I’ve composed a private message with more specifics to the writer, I realize this is a question a lot of people may have now, so I’m sharing the general part of my response here.
Gratitude – The darker and more difficult times are, the more critical it is to look for the things to feel grateful for. I keep a notebook of things that I appreciate. This isn’t an academic exercise to get it down on paper and go on with my day! I use it as an anchor to focus and reflect on.
As I think about the positive things, I try to really feel how good each of those things are. I consciously fill my mind with all that is good and going right. When I start to go off track into negative thoughts, I pull my thoughts back to the good. The more I can do this, the happier and more content I feel.
This is really important because if you don’t consciously fill your mind with positive thoughts, fear and anxiety and negativity will flood you. That’s the natural default we are all societally set at. (You can see this very much right now in the news, on social media and just about every single place you visit online or in person.)
Activating your gratitude practice is definitely a mental exercise! The more you do it, the easier it gets and the more you do it, the better life feels. The better you feel about life, the more things in your life will shift for the good. The challenge is to feel good even before the external circumstances look good, because this is what brings more good into your life.
This might seem too simple, too pat – but gratitude is a powerful practice that will shift your perspective even while things are tough, and improve your life as time goes on. I can’t stress enough how powerful this can be.
In the last couple of weeks, I’ve been preoccupied with the possibility of moving to our new home in the north. Our original intention was to wait until the end of the school year in order to give our children as much closure as possible before moving to a new place. However, a lot is changing….
The first school closures were announced less than three weeks ago and a few days later the school closures were complete. When I considered the big picture, it seemed unlikely schools would resume after the five week shutdown that was announced. But of course, no one knew what would happen.
Expecting we would soon be facing an extended period at home, I was strongly inclined to move to our new home for a number of reasons. It’s significantly larger and has much more outdoor space, which would make quarantine much more comfortable for the ten of us. The green fields surrounding the house would offer increased freedom at a time when movement is restricted, and it would be a physically and emotionally healthier place to be.
100 meters from our front yard – heaven for kids and a dog to run around in.
There would also be various tasks to get the house ready that would be enjoyable to do together while providing a constructive outlet for the energy of kids who are home all day.
In light of all that, two weeks ago I asked my kids what they thought of moving sooner rather than waiting until July. None of them liked that idea – they wanted to stay in RBS for when things got back to normal.
However, every few days the guidelines were tightening, and I was concerned that we were going to go to a dramatically more limited level of movement nationally very soon. I also thought that given another week of not being able to see friends, their perspective on moving would shift.
Meanwhile the sale of our home in the north still wasn’t completed, and I couldn’t make any plans to move until we owned the home. I was feeling very unsettled, wanting to plan a move and feeling the choice would soon not be mine to make.
It was only a week after we first started talking about moving (but it felt like a lifetime) that I told my husband we needed to set a clear intention about what we wanted. It was last week on a Sunday night that we agreed we would move on Monday, March 30. Hopefully that would give the bank time to get their act together (lots of delays due to the current situation) and complete the paperwork, and it would give us a week to pack up.
The next morning announced to our kids that we would be making the move a week later. We didn’t know if it would be possible but we went with the assumption that it would work out. I went to get some boxes from the store first thing in the morning and when I brought them home, the kids started packing their things. I called the mover and booked the date.
Our home by Wednesday afternoon.
Later Monday afternoon, after my husband spoke to the lawyer and real estate agent, the seller agreed that we could move in even if the paperwork wasn’t completed.
That got my gears spinning: although we set the following Monday as the target date to be realistic about the bank’s timeline, I was sure by Thursday night we would have new restrictions in place and wanted to go before our move would be forbidden. If the seller was already willing to let us move in before the sale was completed, maybe we could move on Thursday morning?
First thing Tuesday morning I called the mover to ask if he could do the move on Thursday morning. He wasn’t able to give me an answer until Tuesday afternoon, but I told the kids to assume it would happen. At 2 pm his response was that he could send us a truck and driver, but no other staff were available. A number of people who had planned to move the following week had frantically moved their moving dates up in light of the situation, and he had no workers left.
He suggested we do the move ourselves, and being very motivated to move as soon as we could, I agreed.
Ds14 unloading boxes from the truck We completely packed this 7 meter truck from top to bottom!
While my husband continued working (from home) and the kids packed and dissembled furniture, I was busy completing all the errands.
One big item was buying a new fridge – a week before the repairman had said it wouldn’t last much longer and I doubted it would be functional if we moved it. It would be very difficult to be in a new home without a working refrigerator. I was able to buy a fridge that was a floor model, which allowed us to haul it home that same evening (rather than wait a week for delivery), and load it onto the moving truck the first thing in the morning.
It was a very, very full two days!
Our mover verified legally that he was still allowed to do the move on Thursday morning.
My kids were amazing; they all jumped in and worked together without stopping and without complaining. It was actually an energizing and bonding experience for us all.
Moving in this way might sound like a nightmare, but it really wasn’t. The amazing thing wasn’t that we packed up and moved in this very short time frame, but that it didn’t feel pressured. That was a result of all of us thinking and speaking in a positive way.
Sheleg chilling in our new yard, watching the truck get unloaded.
And we made it! We are here in our new home in Yavneel!
Welcome signs on our front door made by neighboring children. Isn’t that sweet? Amazing that somehow people in Yavneel knew we were arriving! They even made signs for the side entrance!
Though in the earlier stage of discussion there was resistance to the idea of moving now, at this point everyone agrees it was a really good plan! We all feel grateful to be here, with a sense of having squeaked through at the very last minute.
That’s not theoretical – at 4:30 pm on Thursday afternoon, as we were unpacking in our new home, I received a message from our foster social worker, who I was in daily contact with about the move and knew all of our plans. Her message stated that her supervisor had just told her that we were no longer authorized to move. I had such a sense of deep relief to already be here!
