On Thursday afternoon the bar mitzva excitement began to build, as family members trickled in. I count it as a minor miracle that no one was in quarantine – the statistical odds weren’t in our favor!

(My mom and son in RBS left early in the week, when there was talk of a lockdown in that area. The entire yeshiva of ds21 is locked down with the army coming in to prevent anyone from leaving. It was a bummer when he got covid during the summer break and could only be home with us for the final week of vacation but thanks to that he was allowed to leave.)

We began our bar mitzva celebration on Thursday night with a family meal, attended by our immediate family members (my mom, all our children and grandchildren), which totaled 20 people.

My husband prepared a slide show which we viewed at the end of the meal, and of course I immediately got a lump in my throat watching. They are so little and….boom. Suddenly they’re bar mitzva and I’m wondering where the years have gone…

We then had an outdoor dessert reception for men and boys. We had a nice turnout, and though the music system failed, people sang instead and it was still very nice.

We projected the slide show through a window to the yard and kept it replaying throughout the evening, so people could enjoy it – and they did.

I had expressed my desire to my older daughters for the bar mitzva to feel special for our son, and they prepared some things in advance for him. One daughter printed a large photo of our son and it was displayed where people could sign it.

We ended the evening with maariv (evening services) and our son led the services. I was amazed at how naturally and comfortably he stepped into this with so much confidence, and asked my husband if he prepared him. No, he told me there was no official preparation at all, he picked it up on his own by attending shul.

(By the way, this is a premise of ours that informs our homeschooling approach – that when a person is ready and wants to learn something, he will.)

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On Shabbos, we were all able to attend shul in the morning. We are blessed with a very large shul with not very large attendance (so plenty of space between everyone), and the women’s section is a completely separate entrance so it has a separate total of people allowed to be there (due to coronavirus regulations). I didn’t take being able to be in shul for the Torah reading for granted, as many people can’t at this time. My mom and daughters and I agreed that this was the best setup we’ve ever had – we could see and hear more clearly than any other bar mitzva (this is our fifth bar mitzva).

His leining was beautiful. It was especially emotional for us to hear him, with him having been such a late reader, and here we have a young man who read his Torah portion so smoothly and with so much confidence. (He now reads comfortably in English and Hebrew, which a dyslexia expert told me doesn’t happen. Good thing we didn’t listen to the experts!)

We then had a kiddush outside in our garden. We are so blessed to have the space to do this. My daugher-in-law and daughter collaborated to make a beautiful cake with edible tefillin decorating the top.We had loads of baked goods prepared and I was sure we’d have tons left over, but we had an amazing attendance and hardly anything was left. It was surprising and heartwarming to have so many people come, and very appreciated.

I think it being held outside made people much more comfortable about coming – there were people there who are very, very strict about masks and social distancing who hardly go out, and I was pleasantly surprised that they joined us. I was especially honored that the rav of the shul attended. He is an elderly man in a wheelchair who doesn’t go out much; I had no expectation that he would be there and it was truly an honor for us that he came.

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Weeks ago when discussing his bar mitzva, my son asked if we could spend Shabbos in RBS and celebrate there, because he has no friends to celebrate with here. But he was so happy with his entire bar mitzva, and we all felt the same – it was a wonderful experience for everyone.

I feel some additional gratitude, with the impending three week lockdown set to begin less than a week, that he was born when he was, as just one Shabbos later this entire event wouldn’t have been possible!

We enjoyed having all of our family together, and before we knew it, Shabbos was over. There was the initial expansion as people arrived on Thursday, and then a sudden deflation as they left. On Saturday night, nine family members left; first thing Sunday morning two more boys left, and then the last three family members left on Sunday night. Now there are just six of us left at home, and it’s with much gratitude that we can look back on the wonderful event that we shared together.

Avivah