Ds13 came home earlier than expected – he arrived a half hour before Shabbos!

The hospital is literally right by the Mediterranean Sea, which is stunningly beautiful.   Just a three minute walk from the hospital building and you see this:

Dd18 and ds13 together, enjoying the view.

When dd18 brought the littles, we thought they’d enjoy seeing the sea.  The trouble was, it was already nighttime and they were really creeped out by the sight and sound of the waves in the darkness.  And ds6 was really cold (he was really sick later that night, but I can look at the pictures and it’s obvious how under the weather he already was feeling.)

The sea may have not been much fun, but wearing their big brother and sister’s sweatshirts and getting a ride on ds13’s wheelchair was definitely something they enjoyed.

So much fun that they wanted more and more rides when they were back inside the hospital!  Ds13 was very obliging.

We’re so glad to have ds13 back home with us! Ds3 told me he wants to go to ‘his (ds13;s) room’ again – meaning his hospital room.  I had to tell him that it’s not a trip we’re going to be making now!

Avivah

It seems redundant to say that things have been busy lately, since really, things are always busy around here!

Ds13 has been hospitalized for the last week, and people have been asking about what he’s there for.  He has a septic hip infection, which wasn’t symptomatic other than hip pain (ie no fever or sign of inflammation); this is apparently uncommon.  He’s being treated with antibiotics via iv as well as having had pus in the hip joint drained out a couple of times.  Most of the pain is gone though he’s been told to stay off his feet, so he’s getting pretty good at doing pop a wheelies with his wheelchair.  We hope that he’ll be discharged on Sunday.

I’ve enjoyed spending time with ds at the hospital.  Getting out of the house isn’t easy, but once I’m at the hospital I enjoy being there.  I’m getting to know more staff and other parents, know what to expect in terms of shifts and routines, and it feels increasingly more friendly every time I’m there.  I like connecting with people and I’ve had the chance for some interesting and meaningful conversations with other parents in the pediatric ward.

Yesterday a young secular mother who asked me what prayers her husband should say at the time of their baby’s operation.  I told her that I don’t have special powers that she doesn’t have because I’m dressed as a religious Jew and she’s not – that prayer doesn’t have to be formalized to be powerful.  I shared the belief that has gotten me through some difficult situations – we can’t avoid crises, but we can choose how we think about them.  This is often the only power we have in a situation.  However you define it, the reality is objectively whatever it is, and what determines how you experience that reality is based on how you define it and the meaning you give to it.

Then I spoke with a young couple there with a one month old baby (their first) and advised them about how to interact more effectively with the hospital staff.  I had overheard them say something to a nurse that I felt would position them to be treated poorly (because of their hands off approach to non necessary medical care).  I shared with them some of my own experiences; they were so appreciative to feel someone was validating them as parents.  I spoke with another mother who treated her kids holistically for years and now is having a hard time seeing her child having a major illness that she can’t do anything about.  I told her, ‘believe me, I know where you’re coming from!’

I spoke with an Ethiopian father and a secular Israeli father, with a couple of other secular Israeli mothers – all such nice people.  Ds13 is a people magnet and who he is has opened the way for some of these conversations.  Kids of all ages in the pediatric ward like him (as do their parents)- the two year old in his room who brings him balloons to play with together, an eight year old a few rooms away came to show him his new toy car, the eleven year old in the playroom did computer stuff with him and then found a wheelchair just like ds13’s so he could copy him…so talking to the parents of all these people is very easy.

It’s a nice to be able to interact with so many people in a meaningful way, which is a luxury you don’t get in daily life – everyone is always rushing somewhere, but in the hospital, we’re all there, without anywhere else to be or anything else to do.

Lest you think this has been a relaxing vacation-like week, I’ll just say, it hasn’t – all that time doesn’t come out of my empty schedule!  Dd18 has been an amazing help and I don’t know what I’d do without her; she’s rearranged her schedule so she’s able to take care of Yirmiyahu when I need to go to the hospital, and she goes to the hospital when I’m home.   Dd16 spent last Shabbos at the hospital and plans to go again for this Shabbos (though she’s sick so that might change).

At every hospital I’ve been at, I’ve noticed how the Arab families have so many visitors at times that don’t seem to be easy times for people to visit – mid morning and mid afternoon – and I really wonder about how they do that.  We’re really stretching ourselves to have one person at a time staying with ds at the hospital, forget about more than one person coming!   (Though last night dd18  brought ds3, ds5, and ds6 to the hospital with her to visit ds13, then after staying a couple of hours they left to go home with me.)  What I think is that the families live very close to each other and they take care of each other’s children, which is wonderful because they have so much built in emotional and social support.

I got home with the three boys from the hospital at 10:15 pm, then was up with Yirmiyahu until 3:3o am, since he had to be held upright in order to sleep so I put him in a wrap when I went to bed, then leaned against the wall while sitting and tried to fall asleep.  It didn’t work well.  🙂  Then all of the boys ages 6 and down were sick today so they stayed home, along with dd16.  Hopefully I’ll get a decent night’s sleep tonight, and we’ll all rest up over Shabbos!

Avivah

Tonight I’m posting from my ds13’s hospital room in Haifa.

We spent hours in the pediatric emergency room, after beginning our day at the pediatrician, being referred to an orthopedist, and then being sent here.  Do you know what tomorrow is?  The end of the world according to the Mayan calendar.  Hence, all the programs on the National Geographic Channel (which is what was showing in the emergency room) were about this.  The rapture, mark of the beast, apocolypse, huge amounts of birds and fish dying in a close geographic range, ten ways the world could come to an end…somewhat interesting but very inappropriate for a children’s waiting room.  I passed my sentiments on to the staff.

We’re here because ds woke up on Shabbos morning with pain in his hip, which got worse within a short time.  It’s pretty intense and it’s constant.  He’s spent all day and night trying to find a comfortable position to sit or lay in, and only gets up to walk if it’s absolutely necessary.  Painkillers dulled the pain but it wasn’t passing and I was concerned about the possibility of infection in his hip joint.

The xrays showed everything was fine with the bone itself and he didn’t have any external signs of infection, but to make a long story short,  the blood work showed an infection so they decided to hospitalize him for treatment.   I’ve spent this week being really concerned and I’m relieved that this will be treated now.

In light of the upcoming apocolypse I should be appreciative for being alive :), and I am glad we have access to good medical care, but I’m honestly getting tired of hospitals.  Prior to moving here, we rarely saw a doctor and had just three emergency room visits for all of the kids together throughout the years.  I’ve been to more doctors than I want to think about, we’ve been to the emergency room at least six times, and that’s not including the four days I was in the hospital after Yirmiyahu was born, the daily visits until he was released from the NICU, or the visits to my mother when she was hospitalized recently for hip replacement surgery.

When we were told to take ds to the emergency room, thanks to my increased familiarity with four area hospitals (five if you count the geriatric hospital my mom went to for rehab) – two in Haifa, one in Tzfat, and one in Nahariya – I was able to quickly decide which one would be best.  Since every time I’ve gone to a new hospital it’s taken time and effort to figure out how to get there, it was a nice side benefit of my past experiences that today I didn’t have to do that.  Since they’re all good, the biggest remaining part of the equation was which was easiest to get to via public transportation so that we can regularly visit him, which is why I chose Haifa.  It’s further from Karmiel than either Tzfat or Nahariya, but there are buses a few times an hour – and for some strange reason, the bus fare is a bit less than the other two cities even though it’s further away.

This is the same hospital that my mother was at for her hip replacement surgery but when I stayed overnight with her, I had a plain plastic chair to sleep on.  In the pediatric department, there are cushioned chairs that fold out into a bed, which is is so much more comfortable!  As of now I’m assuming he’ll be here for Shabbos, so I’ll stay until Friday afternoon when dd16 will come to spend Shabbos here with him.  Even though I wish we didn’t need to be here, I do appreciate being able to spend time with just one child without anything else that I need to do. It’s actually almost relaxing.

The nurse has just come in and said he needs to have another xray (at 9 pm!), so off we go!

Avivah