Well, I’ve finally done it. After years of actively resisting this, I’ve finally entered the world of Facebook.
I’ve had to overcome a few mental hurdles in order to embrace this but I’m continuing to work on doing things that are difficult for me, knowing that every small victory builds character. Here are some of the things I’m overcoming:
1) Fear of having my time consumed by online activities. I make a continuous effort to constrain my time online. Time online more easily than not becomes a huge time suck, where you look at the clock and realize you’ve been clicking here and there for three hours and have nothing to show for it. I didn’t want to have one more thing to have to control and I was worried about Facebook’s reputation for becoming addictive or at the very least very time consuming. I had to trust myself that I have the discipline and focus to use this tool appropriately.
2) Discomfort of anything that hints at self-promotion. I realized I’ve been avoiding taking actions that would force me to step fully into my life and face my abilities. That keeps me from playing the role God put me in this world to play. Telling God you’re not up for the job doesn’t impress Him; He knows you’re making excuses to avoid seeing your true potential. So this is a small step toward living larger.
3) Technophobia– my husband can’t understand how I can know as much as I do about technology and still be so technology wary. I set up a Facebook page for my blog so that you can follow me there – they’ve made the process pretty intuitive – but I was still worried I’d make some big mistake that would result in me posting something unwanted on someone’s feed. I won’t describe how anxious I was because that would be really embarrassing. Then I realized no one really cares that much. 🙂
4) Avoidance of popularity contests – When I recently switched my blog to this site address, I lost fifty percent of my traffic. I usually don’t pay that much attention to numbers as that’s not the main thing, and I’m trying not to put too much weight on this. But online social media has a heavy numbers focus – how many ‘friends’, subscribers, likes? The winners have bigger stats, the losers have small numbers. Ugh. Can you say ‘rat race thinking’? It’s easy to get caught up in thinking this is a reflection of you and your perceived value. It’s really not.
So I’m overcoming all of these perceptions of my limitations and desire to stay in my comfort zone, and have bravely put a Facebook like box on my sidebar- please click on it!
Avivah
Because of the privacy invasions inherent with Facebook our family shuns it, and b’li neder always will. It also strikes me as lo tzniut for individuals, to have so much of one’s life publicly available, though its essential for business these days. Why did you feel the need for it? I recall you writing that you do not blog for parnassa. You already have an online presence for your parenting/homeschooling consulting, so I’m wondering how your cost/benefit analysis came down in favor of Facebook. Thank you for sharing!
Great question! I’ll post a response later today or tomorrow.
Avivah, Facebook is like anything else; it can be a tool to help or a weapon to hurt (others or yourself). Mostly, I hear you saying it is a tool to help (by increasing readership, to publicize your blog, and to grow visibility). GOOD for you. Your writing helps a lot of others…and this can only expand with a larger online presence. If you use it the same way you use your blog, it will be a wonderful tool to help others. For years, you have shared your life publicly, and been transparent. This is no different! Looking forward to seeing more of you….although you know I stalk your blog anyways!! Lol!!
-Tovah
By privacy invasions, I was referring to the routine collection and sale of user data by Facebook itself to vendors and government agencies. Facebook has also been criticized for the complicated or obscure instructions users must follow to customize how and how much of their personal info is shared with other users on the site. These issues have recently been in the news in the U.S., and may not have have received as much press in Israel.
This is exactly it, Tovah!
i don’t have facebook so i can’t “like” your page, but i LIKE you in real life and i wanted to affirm how much i like you here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (for what it’s worth, i think it’s a very normal yetzer hara to get caught up in stats and its very hard not to care about numbers of visitors on blogs and such… i try very hard never to look at mine because at a certain point i realized that my mood could get better or worse depending on blog feedback and i hated being a slave to my numbers… it’s such a hard battle! good luck with it!)
Thank you, Julie!
I agree that looking at stats can be a trap; I really try to ignore mine so I can keep my focus where I want it to be, on connecting with my readers. Everything is set up in a way to make it hard to ignore, though!
Funny you should post about starting a facebook acct just as my dd19 is in the middle of a Birthright tour in Israel and called home last night to ask us for our blessing as she wants to open a facebook acct. She wants it to keep in touch with the people she has met in her touring group. We talked about the pro’s and cons and assured her that we trust that she can make the right decision for herself even if it isn’t the one we would choose for ourselves at this time. Keep us posted about your facebook experience as it will be interesting to know down the road how it is affecting your time and life.
It really does take thought to balance the benefits and disadvantages of FB. My oldest daughter had an account and later shut it down because she felt it wasn’t helping her be the person she wanted to be. I’ve set up some guidelines for myself and hope that will keep things in check.
Avivah your new blog is beautiful! Also, I notice more posts, and I notice more honesty in your posts (if that is even possible, you have always been honest to begin with). Im sensing a new inner peace in you at a whole new level. I’m liking it and am extremely happy for you.
My husband has a love hate relationship with facebook. we’ve been with facebook since its infancy, and it has evolved tremendously over the years. in the beginning it was a simple site with an easy way to keep in touch with friends. now the newsfeed, advertising, links to share, pages to like, etc. it’s our own personalized newspaper… to me it’s like a modern day rikky ricardo from I love Lucy always reading the newspaper…
Anyway, it has been a great resource for my husband’s photography business, and most of his clients have come from facebook. it has also allowed him to network with other photographers (especially film photographers, yes he still shoots film and blows digital out of the water). he recently wrote about facebook on his blog/website and i wanted to share it with you: http://zalmyb.com/a-boy-and-his-facebookless-momma/.
when he comes to israel (not sure when) i want him to photograph your family as a token of gratitude for all you have done for us through your words of wisdom 🙂